Writer's Craft Article
Fiction Fundamentals: Writing
Elbow Grease, Part 5C
Editing and Polishing Introspection Tip Sheet
by Karen S. Wiesner
Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection
In this three month, in-depth series, we're going to go over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.
In the previous part of this series, we discussed editing and polishing dialogue tips. This time we'll go over editing and polishing introspection tips.
Tip Sheet: Introspection
• Get inside your character's head! The dictionary definition of introspection is "observation or examination of one's own mental and emotional state". By showing a character's introspection, you give the reader the ability to get to know the character from the inside out. A character's behavior in any given situation will both characterize her and create emotion. Hence, behavior and reactions work hand in hand (but they needn't be linear as a rule). Behavior, in essence, is the action, which is almost always followed by a reaction. Working within a specific point of view, follow action with that character's reaction to the behavior. Look at this simplified example from Linda Howard's Cover of Night, with just the behavior-reaction-introspection sequence pulled out:
Cal reached back under the blanket and put his hand on her hip, silently
pulling her even closer to him. (behavior)
Tears stung her eyes as she nestled
close, as close as she could get. (reaction)
This--this was what she'd missed most, the
quiet companionship in the night, the knowledge that she wasn't alone. She
wanted him to hold her, wanted to feel his arms around her. (introspection)
When he'd held her and Neenah after the
frightening episode with Mellor, (behavior)
for the first time in a long while Cate had felt...safe. (reaction)
Not just because Cal had protected them, though she was bemused to realize that was indeed part of her response; some primitive reactions evidently don't go away. The biggest part of it, though, was that suddenly she hadn't felt so alone. (introspection)
Behavior and reaction almost inevitably lead to introspection. Without introspection, readers will feel as though they're watching your characters through a pane of glass they can't get past. They can see and hear your characters, but rarely will they experience what the characters are going through without effective introspection. Let's take a look at the above example without introspection:
Cal reached back under the blanket and
put his hand on her hip, silently pulling her even closer to him.
Tears stung her eyes as she nestled
close, as close as she could get.
"Go back to sleep," he whispered softly. "You'll need all the rest you can get."
Below is the published version from Cover of Night. You'll see what a difference it makes to get inside the POV character's head:
Cal reached back under the blanket and
put his hand on her hip, silently pulling her even closer to him.
Tears stung her eyes as she nestled
close, as close as she could get.
This--this was what she'd missed most, the
quiet companionship in the night, the knowledge that she wasn't alone. They
hadn't so much as kissed, yet somehow, on some level, they were already linked.
She felt it as surely as she knew when the twins were all right, or when they
were getting into trouble. She didn't have to see them; she didn't have to hear
them; she just knew.
"Go back to sleep," he
whispered softly. "You'll need all the rest you can get."
She wanted him to hold her, wanted to feel his arms around her. When he'd held her and Neenah after the frightening episode with Mellor, for the first time in a long while Cate had felt...safe. Not just because Cal had protected them, though she was bemused to realize that was indeed part of her response; some primitive reactions evidently don't go away. The biggest part of it, though, was that suddenly she hadn't felt so alone.
Your story comes to life through introspection in a way that
can't be overstressed. It fleshes out characters, settings, and plots.
• Write effectively enough that the reader has the same reaction as the POV character. When editing and polishing sentences, make a much more focused effort to bring the reader directly into the story so she can participate actively. In scenes of intense emotion, if the reader doesn't feel the same reaction as the POV character, you haven't written the scene effectively. Take these examples from Angela Hunt's A Time To Mend (the second being the published version):
Jacquelyn felt a scream rise in her throat, begging for release, but she clamped her lips shut to imprison it.
***
A scream clawed in Jacquelyn's throat, begging for release, but her clamped lips imprisoned it.
While both work well, in the first version, the word felt separates the reader from the character. We're looking at her. In the second version, we're right there with her, feeling the scream clawing its way up her (our) throat while her (our) lips refuse to allow it escape.
Introspection can turn a good story into a suspenseful, moving one. Use your editing and polishing to make sure you've done the very best job you possibly can to make your story a compelling one.
Next week, I'll present the first of four tip sheets covering general revision choices.
Happy writing!
Karen S. Wiesner is the
author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume
2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection
http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/
https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html
Karen
Wiesner is an award-winning,
multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.
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