Taking the Bucket Out of the Bucket List, Part 2 by Karen S. Wiesner

 

Taking the Bucket Out of the Bucket List, Part 2

by Karen S. Wiesner 

In this final of an updated, two part reprisal of earlier posts on the Alien Romances blog, I discuss the wisdom and benefits of, and strategies for, drawing up a personal bucket list as early as possible--long before the curtain of a life is drawn. Only slightly belated as you draw up your New Year’s resolutions, I encourage everyone, not just those interested in writing (or aliens!), to read this. 

 

Last week we went over what a bucket list is, and I discussed my own realizations of wanting to achieve my most desired goals early enough in life to enjoy them throughout all the days of my life that followed. Let's continue with actual strategies for forging ahead. 

Taking the Next Step--Are You Ready? 

Coming up with a formal or informal bucket list as early in life as possible will help anyone focus their time and energies in areas they're already passionate about as well as provide excitement, inspiration, and the push toward finding purpose and a sense of accomplishment long before the curtain of a life is drawn. 

While I was working on this article, I was asked a couple questions that are worth considering on your own as you decide whether you're ready to take the bull by the horns yourself. 

Had I been making bucket lists since my twenties, or did I just start making them recently? All things considered, I’d have to conclude I’ve actually been making them mentally since I was 20 and I just never really realized that was what I was doing all this time.

Would I have benefited in my twenties by formally writing my goals down? Have I benefited now for writing them down versus just thinking about my plans in my head? I suppose the blanket answer to these two questions that feed into each other is about the same: It might have benefited me to formally write down my bucket list goals at any point; however, I’ve always had a mind like a relentless robot seeking out all the dark corners of my own soul. For me, it didn’t really make a huge difference to officially spell out my goals for myself. What you've seen presented in this article is what I saw in my head from the beginning. That said, I think most people probably will benefit greatly from actually make their bucket lists formal plans with loose or definitive goals. 

I have several pieces of advice to those wanting to forge ahead into a life lived with purpose:

 

A.     Choose wisely. You don't have to feel like you're required to have a certain number of goals on your list. I have four, which is a nice, even number, but if you only ever have one, that's fine. You can add to it if you want to (no pressure) at any time as you complete or become proficient at priority items. This thing isn't set in stone, nor should it be. If you discover one of your wishes isn't really something you like after all, well, you've learned something about yourself you didn't know before, right? That said, you do want to include on this list only things that you're strongly zealous about and are deeply committed to fulfilling. This is another reason why limiting the list is advisable. There's no point in having a checklist of this kind that includes a bunch of things you're not serious enough to actually make deliberate preparations in undertaking. I don't think anyone needs another random to-do list lying around collecting dust.

 

B.     Prioritize your bucket list in the order of the things you want to accomplish first and last, and don't try to take on the whole list at once. That's a recipe for failure. Start with the top one, the most important to you, and make a serious go of completing and/or developing it over time, perhaps even years. Make this part of your daily or weekly life. The whole reason for doing this long in advance of having an actual deadline (especially one as final as death!) is to accomplish things you enjoy and may spend the rest of your life taking pleasure in and cultivating. In many cases, the items on your list will require an investment: Of time, discipline, energy, money, and frequently all of the above. Trust me, you're embarking on a labor of love with any one of these.

 

C.     Make a plan for how to go about fulfilling the items on your bucket list, one at a time. Set goals over time so you're doing something toward making the wish reality. Make a commitment to forging ahead with your goals. Start small, if you need to, and make initially small investments of time, energy, and finances. Work into the passion that can motivate you to keep going bigger and better. I know a lot of people can't think of long-term projects that require large investments of time, energy, or money because their lives are busy, complicated, and/or they're financially unable. In those situations, creativity may be needed to get started. Devote just five, ten, fifteen minutes--whatever you can eke out every day or once a week to advance your project. Take free classes at your local library or online. Ask close friends and family to gift you with an item you need for a birthday or Christmas. Small, slow, and frugal can produce results eventually, too!

 

D.     Define your reasons for what you hope to accomplish with each item on your bucket list if for no other reason than that you set yourself on a path toward seeing where it's going, or where it could be going. I wanted to understand my motivations clearly from the start, whether I intended to advance in these areas for individual edification or for something more--such as, my drawing could potentially lead to an exciting new career for me in the future.

 

E.     Only you can decide if your pursuits are worthwhile. Don't let yourself or anyone else tell you that something you've chosen to do isn't meaningful or significant. The goal of personal development is valuable--whatever your chosen aspiration. At the very least, anything you achieve is one regret you'll never have to feel.

Nearly three decades after I started pursuing the wishes on my informal bucket list, I find myself realizing that as I look back over what I've managed to accomplish, I'm satisfied. If my time in this world ended tomorrow, I would feel as though I lived with purpose and that I'd accomplished something worthwhile. Instead of waiting until I was close to kicking the bucket, you might say I took the bucket out of my bucket list. I took the bull by the horns, and I'm reaching for previously categorized "don't even bother wishing 'cause they can't come true" things and I'm making them a passionate part of my everyday reality, one at a time, step by step, until my time runs out. 

If you're interested in taking the bucket out of your own bucket list, jumping in now on the things you've always wanted to do, the worksheet below might be helpful in getting you started. You can and should come back to this often in the future to revise and hone your goals, re-strategizing as you make progress from one item to the next. Remember, small, slow, and cheap still means moving forward. 

My Bucket List 

Date: (may include the dates of whenever you've revised) 

What's in My Bucket 

Wishes: (listed in order of priority, #1 being the one I'm most passionate about and the one I'll get started on first) 

#1 

When and how will I begin to reach for things in my bucket?

 

a)    How long do I want to experience this goal? Circle one: Once | Ongoing | Until I'm finished

 

b)    Detail the first step to beginning:

 

c)     Describe later steps to developing my goal:

 

d)    Specify the time(s) and day(s) I'm devoting to the undertaking:

 

e)    Brainstorm strategies to help accomplish my wish:

 

f)      Identify why this is in my bucket and what I hope to get out of it:

 #2

 

When and how will I begin to reach for things in my bucket?

 

a)    How long do I want to experience this goal? Circle one: Once | Ongoing | Until I'm finished

 

b)    Detail the first step to beginning:

 

c)     Describe later steps to developing my goal:

 

d)    Specify the time(s) and day(s) I'm devoting to the undertaking:

 

e)    Brainstorm strategies to help accomplish my wish:

 

f)      Identify why this is in my bucket and what I hope to get out of it:

 

You can find a PDF of this worksheet here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/uploads/2/3/5/5/23554234/bucketlistcourtesyofkarenwiesnertypeb.pdf   

For those who are more goal-oriented, Type A personalities like myself, you might want an even more vigorous plan of attack. For that, I offer a more in-depth worksheet, which you can find here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/uploads/2/3/5/5/23554234/bucketlistcourtesyofkarenwiesnertypea.pdf, or you could even incorporate the heart of the bucket list ideals into a SMART goals program (a simple internet search will hook you up for that). 

"Seize the life and the day will follow!" ~Linda Derkez 

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Taking the Bucket Out of the Bucket List, Part 1 by Karen S. Wiesner

Taking the Bucket Out of the Bucket List, Part 1

by Karen S. Wiesner

 

 

In this updated, two part reprisal of earlier posts on the Alien Romances blog, I discuss the wisdom and benefits of, and strategies for, drawing up a personal bucket list as early as possible--long before the curtain of a life is drawn. Only slightly belated as you draw up your New Year's resolutions, I encourage everyone, not just those interested in writing (or aliens!), to read this.

About 10 years ago, I sort of watched the movie The Bucket List out of my peripheral vision. My husband is fond of watching movies on one of our TVs while I play videogames on the other. Condensing the theme of that movie, two terminally ill, older men come up with a wish list of things they want to do--and, in an abbreviated amount of time, they attempt to fulfill them--before their time on Earth literally runs out. My first thought in response to the theme of this film was, Why would anyone want to do this when they're old, tired, dying, and it's nearly too late? Why not do the things you're passionate about long before there actually is a countdown to death and while young enough to truly enjoy the adventure(s) undertaken? Few questions have ever motivated me more than these two. 

As far as the internet can tell, the term "bucket list" was either created or popularized by that 2007, so-named movie. A bucket list is believed to relate to the idiom "kick the bucket", which is a term that originated in the 16th century. Be prepared to cringe: The wooden frame that was used to suspend slaughtered animals was called a bucket. I think you can guess what happened after they were hung up by their hooves. Yikes. Long story short, there was a lot of kicking done just prior to death. A bucket list, then, is created to clarify what one wishes to accomplish either in a specific timeframe (as in, "one and done" tasks completed in a short amount of time) or by the end of a life (long-term projects). Bucket list wishes can be self-actualization goals or ones you've set for endeavors such as charity work, career, or family or friend-related purposes. 

While at that time I didn't really sit down and write up a formal bucket list of my own, I thought long and hard about which goals would make mine. The most important factors in doing this, for me, were, first and foremost, that I would be able to enjoy them all throughout the rest of my life, and, only slightly less important, that I'd be able to accomplish my personal goals earlier in life than "at the end". 

My list actually wasn't that difficult to come up with, as I'm sure other people will discover as well, because many of these were already passions I was unwilling or unable to indulge in thus far in my life. In the process, I formulated a list of four things I'd spent my lifetime up to that point dreaming about but not believing I could do. My reasons for not doing them stemmed from a) the expense involved, b) the lack of time to undertake them, and c) being very aware that it takes me a long time and a whole lot of effort to learn new things (in part because I was already 45 years old when I embarked on this). 

Unofficially, I suppose the first real bucket list wish I made started with writing. I wrote (and illustrated) my first story when I was eight, and I always knew that was what I wanted to do more than anything else. There was little if any encouragement around me for this endeavor but, in the defense of my friends and family, becoming a success in this field isn't exactly a stable environment or income. When I was 20, I was determined to make a go of it regardless. My first book was published when I was 27…just after I'd made the heartrending decision to quit writing because I'd already invested nearly a decade attempting and failing to get published. Sometimes it takes that kind of irony to kick you in the pants and inspire you to reach for more. I spent the next 27 years of my life setting goals and pouring my all into making something of my writing. As I near the end of my writing career at the age of almost 55, my published credits in most every genre imaginable have passed 150 titles and these have garnered nominations or wins for over 130 awards. 

The bucket list of lifelong passions I officially came up with after watching The Bucket List was quickly assembled (written down here years later in all the detail I imagined from its origin), prioritizing my wishes according to my deepest desires: 

#1: Learn to play piano. I've loved music all my life. I can't stand silence so music fills all my waking moments. I wasn't allowed to learn an instrument in school, and I'd wanted to from the moment the possibility was brought up. My goal in doing this wasn't fame or to perform in a professional setting. It would only ever be for private enrichment and perhaps to accompany family and friends--many of them musicians. 

I started small with the first Alfred's Piano instruction book and my son's discarded keyboard. I practiced every day, teaching myself from the manual and asking my guitar- and saxophone-playing husband (who was part of the praise team band at our church) for help whenever I needed it. Naturally, that keyboard quickly didn't have what I needed to advance (88 keys and pedals), but a generous gift allowed me to purchase my first beautiful piano. I also started taking piano lessons nearly a year into my efforts and took them for more than four years. When my instructor moved away, I went back to teaching myself. 

At the time I started, I committed myself to this, my #1 bucket list priority, and I was disciplined in daily practice and learning as much as I could about all aspects. I knew going into it that it would be the biggest challenge of my life, and, boy, was (and is) it. But it's worth it. Nearly a decade in now, I'm still learning, still developing, still passionate about it, and it's something I'll do, and enjoy, until the day I die. 

#2: Develop my drawing and artistic skills across many types of media. I've been writing children's books as long as I can remember, but finding someone to illustrate them hasn't been easy. I've had many stories that I've written that I couldn't get anyone to provide artwork for so they're sitting in my story cupboard, unpublished. In the past, I often wished that the fledgling talent I've had all my life in this field could be cultivated and honed into true ability. While I didn't at first intend to make illustrating children's books a career, when I made my decision several years ago to retire from writing soon, I realized that it was exactly what I wanted to do once I'd completed the last of my 16 book series. 

I started slow and cheap. Using inexpensive pencils and drawing pads or typing paper I already had lying around the house, I randomly drew whatever inspired me whenever I had downtime from writing. In the first year I undertook this, I produced a few good things. I wasn't trying to do anything serious beyond seeing what I could accomplish and what my strengths and weaknesses were. I knew if I let myself get too excited, it would interrupt my writing, and I didn't want to do that, considering I was counting down to completing my last several novels. I wanted to devote myself to making those stories the best they could be. 

Finding myself slowing down in general with nearly everything in my life, recovering from writing projects became much more difficult for me. I needed longer breaks and other ways to relax in between projects. I invested a bit more time and money into my artistic endeavors. I found a place that offers affordable DVD/streaming courses taught by some of the best experts in their respective fields and purchased three art classes on drawing, pencil coloring, and painting. These could be done as I had time and I could set my own pace. I purchased artist grade pencils, paper, and other supplies and equipment. Additionally, I reworked my daily and yearly goals to include times of writing and times of art. I also decided to bring along my readers on this endeavor by posting my art (such as it was) on my Facebook page. The response has been both motivating and moving. 

As my artistic abilities grow, I'm finding the process hard, but also realizing I can do things I could never have imagined I was capable of in the past. At the moment, I'm still reining in how much time and effort I devote to these endeavors, but, as of late 2024, I'd finished the final books in my last two series. By the time I'm ready to get started illustrating my first children's book, I'm hoping I'll have a wide variety of mediums I'm skilled enough in to utilize. Now that I'm completely done writing, all I have to do is wait for the last ten of my books to be edited and published. It's full-speed ahead on art while I wait.

#3: Learn a second language. I took a year of French in high school and I was actually really good at reading and writing the language, just not speaking it. When it started getting mathematical (the way they do numbers is hard!), I dropped out. I've regretted my decision not to continue. Also, I used to have a friend who spoke native Spanish, and I always wished I could understand her when she talked to her family in the language. That would have been the perfect time to start learning, as I could have gotten real feedback and help in learning, but I wasn't motivated at that time. My husband is very good at languages--he taught himself ancient Greek and he's using a program that makes learning a language fun and easy to advance for Spanish. He's constantly asking me to join him in the program, but with writing, piano, and art in my daily life taking up most of my time and energy, I'm spread a little thin. In mid-2024, I started using this language program. My Spanish "score" is currently at 20. Six months ago it was 0.) 

#4: Learning. Just learning. Like most people, I have a lot of random interests that I've never had a lot of time to explore--learning to sing professionally (I do have natural talent in this regard, luckily) as an accompaniment to playing piano, professional photography to help my illustrating, finding out more about unique periods of history (Medieval specifically), geography, space, art culture, and science. The place where I got my art DVDs offers courses in a lot of these disciplines that interest me. I don't currently have a lot of time, but I've already mentioned that I don't care for silence. Usually I fill it with music or art lessons. However, there are frequent slots in my day where I could easily be listening to a lecture, learning more about any one of these random interests. I always want to be learning new things that may inspire any of my other abilities to new heights of creativity.

Next week we'll talk about strategies in taking the next step toward achieving the goals in your life you're most passionate about seeing fulfilled. 

"Seize the life and the day will follow!" ~Linda Derkez  

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog 

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor 

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Daily Thanksgiving by Karen S. Wiesner

 

Daily Thanksgiving

by Karen S. Wiesner

 

 

“Be curious, not judgmental.” ~Marguerite and Marshall Shearer 

I read something recently about a father who'd lost his young daughter. Coming to terms with his grief brought him to a place where he realized that life is a gift. It's not something that's earned, deserved, or that any of us have a right to. It's just there when we're born. The proof of that estimation is that 1), in life, there's nothing that can't be taken away from us, and that, 2) in death, we can't take anything with us. The appropriate response to a gift is gratitude, even if and when that gift is taken away from us. As I'm sure that devastated dad did, the first (and probably the hundredth) reaction was to give up, roll over, and withdraw. Sometimes we're quick to judge a situation we're in--whether it's a tragedy or a reason to celebrate--without giving time the option of altering our outlook in whatever way it will from one second to another. 

This made me think about just how much we all judge in the course of a single day. We judge things not only negatively, but also positively and somewhere in-between. Judging is helpless, hapless, habitual, and a form of its own kind of hell because it won't ever end unless we try to change what seems ingrained in every living being on this planet. From the moment we wake up until finally exhausted, we fall asleep, we're continuously judging everything inside, outside, and all around us. 

We judge how we're feeling from one moment to the next as if our estimation determines the rest of the day, the rest of the year, or the rest of our lives. (What a testimony for not making quick decisions about anything we're going through!) 

We judge our dreams, our aspirations, what we eat, what we drink, what we read, the state of the weather, our wardrobe, our appearance, our own height and weight and everyone else's, our jobs (or lack therefore) and hobbies, our interactions with other living beings (including loved ones, pets, plants, strangers), our living arrangements, our bank accounts, our exercise or refusal to workout, our politics, our internet connection, our selected news reports and everything else happening in the world. 

We judge ourselves and everyone around us whether a presence is physical, over the phone, via an email, on TV or social media, or through a window to the neighbor's house or the street. 

What would it be like to live life without this kind of constant, relentless, ruthless, impulsive judging that all too often causes us to become mired in something toxic? It's really not even imaginable that we could prevent judging, is it? This activity is as natural to us as breathing. 

One thing within our power to do is realize that life in the sense of everything can be a gift that we didn't earn, we don't deserve, and we don't have a right to. I'm not sure about you, but that's a humbling thought that makes me take a breath and even a step backwards. There's nothing that can't be taken away from us in this life and we can't take anything with us when we die. In this way, is it possible to simply accept things as they come and go and view them all as experiences that shape us, hopefully for the better? Even pain could prove to be a gift if viewed the right way--after all, there's no better way to grow and evolve than with hardships that may wreck or leave us numb but could also refine and renew us. The bitter truth is frequently more welcome and illuminating than sweet deception. Darkness makes us appreciate the balm of light. A bird's eye view of death can close and suffocate us but sometimes it opens the panorama that is and can be life as we know it. 

As humans, we're going to judge. That's a given. But mindfully forcing ourselves to perceive all the gifts we're given from one moment to the next can determine our own attitudes going forward in these minutes that make up our short lives. Find a way to be grateful for the things that make up your day-to-day, including the things you've lost, because all we'll ever have is this time to exist and experience, good and bad, what life has to offer. 

Breakfast cereal may not be a Thanksgiving turkey with all the fixing's, but it's food, you need it to survive, and, hey, you got a whole box of it sitting in your kitchen, maybe even the kind with little marshmallows in it. Not everyone can say that. 

Your job may not be one you've always hoped for, but it's probably better than not having one at all. You may not have chosen to work with those particular people but, don't forget, when COVID was ruling all our lives only a few years ago, we would have been ecstatic to see those same people because it meant we were out in the world, interacting instead of merely surviving in hollow isolation. Our kids wanted to go to school during that time but were forbidden to. I don't know about you, but I never, ever want to go back to the state of a half-life where vital connections could equally mean hope to get through another day or week just as well as cause the spread of something we wouldn't wish on anyone. 

You may have lost something you loved and couldn't hold onto. But it was in your life for however long, and you got to know it and love it. While you're alive, those memories will always be yours, complete with the laughter that now puts tears in your eyes; the fun that, at the time, made it feel like it could never end; and the deep richness of intimacy with another human being that made you feel alive and that you would have said was worth anything (even eventual loss) to have if for only one moment. Remember that. Don't ever let it go. It was a gift, and it was worth anything to hold as long as you did. 

Judging everything is just what we do as human beings. We may or may not have any control of that aspect, but it is within our grasp to find vantage points that allow us to be grateful for the experiences we've been granted all around us, some dressed up in the guise of things we may initially think we don't care for. I encourage you to try to make it through a whole day actively looking for hidden gifts littered all along your path and find a way to see them as boons. Whether or not you actually make it for long, try to extend it into the next day and the next. Daily thanksgiving can grow into a habit. Ritual judging in all its extremes may become the route to finding unexpected treasures that bring profound and enduring joy in an often heartless world. 

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor 

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Stop and Smell the Roses by Karen Wiesner

Stop and Smell the Roses

by Karen Wiesner

A memorial for a dear friend who passed away recently, including some of my colored pencil flower artwork.

A dear friend of mine passed away recently. I'd known her for over 20 years, and our children grew up together. They remain best friends to this day, even as she remained mine up until the end. Throughout the years I knew her, she endured multiple health issues. For the last year or so of her life, she was made aware by her doctors that her time in this world was short. When I look back now, I realize that I don't remember ever hearing her complain. I'm also struck by the fact that she didn't live like a person who was dying. She lived her life. Period. Impending death wasn't an obstacle to joy for her. She got through the bad periods, and she enjoyed the good ones. She took everything as it came. Even in her final days, she focused on what was important to her, the things that truly mattered: her husband, children, grandchildren, friends, and making the most of every moment, finding pleasure in those simple things, and never failing to let those around her know how grateful she was for their presence.

I understand the meaning of the phrase "Stop and smell the roses" (something my dear friend loved) because of her example. When an oncoming collision is headed straight for you, it's easier to close your eyes and shut down, shut off, hide inside yourself. It's impossible to enjoy life when you're concentrating on the advancing doom. So she did the best thing she could have done in the face of the inevitable: Although it was always there and she never forgot it, she found a way to turn away from it and focused instead on the roses blooming in the garden of her life. This is a lesson I hope I never forget, no matter how close I come to life's unavoidable finish line. My desire is to emulate such a beautiful standard. In honor of someone I'll miss, VJW, 8/13/23, here are some of my own floral creations.

@Rose colored pencil by Karen Wiesner

@Hibiscus colored pencil by Karen Wiesner

@Scarlet hibiscus colored pencil by Karen Wiesner

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Reflections of Life, Part 5 by Karen S. Wiesner

Reflections of Life, Part 5

by Karen S. Wiesner

In looking back over the course of my life as an author who's looking forward to becoming an artist in retirement, I've learned to slow down and reflect on the past, savor the present, and look forward to the future. Interspersed through these ruminations, I'll include some of my own most apropos sketches.

In Part 4, I covered strategies I implemented to restructure my life to bring better balance. As of this writing (April 20, 2023), I can see the end of the road before me. At my current rate of output, it's conceivable that I can finish the last three books in my last two series within the next year. In learning each day to reflect on where I'm going and what it took to get me there, I can also see just how far I've come in learning and relearning how I approach life, how I complete tasks, and accomplish the things I want to do in my time remaining. Instead of starting each morning (after the obligatory shower and coffee that have always been my initial protocol) by jumping headfirst into a mile-long list of the constant and relentless daily checklist of projects awaiting me, I now have--even by ordinary human standards--a manageable amount of tasks to complete each day.

When I avoid crash and burn habits by starting each day with study, prayer, and reflection, I actually sleep better most nights as a result. This feat isn't something I could have handled in the past, when I carted around a semi-trailer sized head full of tasks that needed nose to the grindstone diligence in order to check off each day. The thought of leisurely getting to work after beginning a day with contemplative endeavors would have been pure torture for me back when I believed I needed to fill the limited number of hours I was given each day with ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

I won't lie to you. I have backslidden. I struggle whenever I see my daily "To Do" lists grow. Amidst embarrassment, amusement, frustration, bewilderment, and even shock that I didn't see it as it was happening, I'm directed and redirected and prodded gently back to the path where I can slow down, start each day off right with morning reflection that sets the tone for the day I have, and decides whether or not I sleep well.

The part that astonishes me almost more than any other about all this is that I've discovered I actually accomplish more these laidback days than when I'm scrambling to check things off my list, causing myself so much stress I lay awake most of the night with a brain that just won't shut off. Rinse and repeat in an endless, vicious, boneheaded cycle in which I'm returned by factory reset to where I started.

Karen Wiesner Sketch: Reading in Bed

Research has shown that there’s scientific benefit involved in practicing appreciation on a day by day basis. In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, Rutgers University Psychology Professor Nancy Fagley Research has shown that there’s even scientific benefit involved in practicing appreciation on a day by day basis. In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, Rutgers University Psychology Professor Nancy Fagley suggests that people focus on and value what they have, spend time outdoors, and. "...reflect on the positive aspects of our lives, value our friends and family, relish and savor the good times...”

I've also discovered that the faster my pace in life, the busier I am, the less I find myself enjoying any part of my life. Think about that word "enjoy". It implies taking pleasure in something, experiencing appreciation and satisfaction in things, and benefitting from the act of savoring and relishing as opposed to viewing the blur of my life as it goes speeding by, leaving me coughing or even run down in its passing dust. There are also strong connotations of reverence and veneration in the word "enjoy". Daily reflection has taught me that humans can only honor and respect the countless blessings that make up our lives by allowing the whole of our beings--physical, mental, and spiritual--to slow down to enjoy them.

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Reflections of Life, Part 4 by Karen Wiesner

Reflections of Life, Part 4

by Karen S. Wiesner

In looking back over the course of my life as an author who's looking forward to becoming an artist in retirement, I've learned to slow down and reflect on the past, savor the present, and look forward to the future. Interspersed through these ruminations, I'll include some of my own most apropos sketches.

In Part 3, I went over what brought about the strong sense that I needed to slow down as well as a few of the initial strategies I implemented in my struggle for balance in my life. After I decided a critique partner was crucial for me, ticks were made in my progress toward what I could accomplish in my remaining time writing. I was now able to return to my "To Be" list. I began to realize I needed to rename it my "To Be or Not To Be" projects. This time, I took off the list the books I didn't feel I had enough material to complete, nor did I believe I could brainstorm and bring about more, certainly not enough to bother undertaking them. Thus, the graveyard of books I was burying expanded. I grieved. I slowly and surely worked on my final two series to complete, one book at a time (for the most part anyway).

Oddly, in this process, I was also beginning to heal. I saw my editor/publisher and author relationship improving. Mutual compromise and finding a new way to accommodate my editor's suggestions, picking my battles with her, went far, but I also needed to humble myself in ways I never would have attempted in the past. I would have jumped ship and struck out anew instead.

Karen Wiesner Sketch: Braided

The quality of my new work also surprised me. I began to feel my books were even stronger than they were in my heyday, though as I said, my editorial skills feel like they're in decline due to aging…or other reasons I'm not entirely sure I want to define.

At this point, just how very tired I'm becoming was brought home to me. All those years of balancing a hundred different projects at the same time over the course of a year had taken their toll. Inconceivable to me in the past, when I actually thought about what I would write on my death bed, I could now see a point in time when I would retire from writing…when I would do something else instead of writing. Even I'm stunned that all of this was actually cathartic for me. It needed to happen, and not just for my own well-being. I actually began to want it to happen, which wasn't something that "sat easy" with my family and friends, who seemed to see this as a kind of death sentence for me instead of the new life I viewed it as.

One last time, I went back over my "To Be or Not To Be" project list and buried a few more stories that I knew I didn't have it in me to finish. I had only two more series to finish, and even less requirements to resolve them, considering that a few of the titles in them both were cropped. As a concession to what could have been some great tales in their own right, I started incorporating some of the ideas from those lost stories into the remaining books in the series. 

Next week, I'll cover the progress I've made in restructuring my life to bring better balance.

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/