Karen S. Wiesner: Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 6 Conclusion

Writer's Craft Article

Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 6

Conclusion

by Karen S. Wiesner

Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

In this three month, in-depth series, we went over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.

In Part 5 of this series, we went over editing and polishing tricks and tips. Let's conclude this series with one last thing to consider. 

The revision layer of a story involves the finishing touches to make your story shine. With these elements, you'll create an extremely strong layer--something that will allow you to send your novel out with confidence to the people who can publish it. However, I do like to add one additional step to the revision process, and this is one I consider mandatory.

The final read-through

Following all the grueling revision we've been doing, many authors may feel ready to send the story out, either to a publisher who’s waiting to release it, or in a submission to find a publisher or agent for the book. A couple situations prompted me to add one last read-through of the story before I considered it done. I think even savvy, confident authors might want to complete this before submitting. We'll go over the whys and wherefores of doing this soon, but first, a couple of side-tracks here.

1. I strongly believe a final read-through needs to take place on a hard copy of the book--in whatever form, a printed version. Yes, I know we live in a digital world. Everything is done on the computer. But the very real and inescapable fact is that human eyes are fallible. They aren't capable of seeing everything on a computer (or something similar to this) screen and, frequently, what you see on the screen isn't necessarily what's in the hard copy--spacing, formatting, and other issues may crop up from one medium to the other. We need the hard copy to truly catch everything that demands our attention (like typos and "Track Changes" errors) in the final draft of a manuscript. Our eyes can only see some of these things on the printed version of the book. This is essential, and I guarantee if you're not getting this hard copy (from your own printer of the final proof after edits, directly from you publisher or from another means like the one I'll describe in a second), you're missing a tremendous amount of issues that readers are going to catch. Do yourself a favor. Get a hard copy to do your final read-through from.

2. Second, the current state of the industry--exploding with indie publishers and self-published authors--requires another stage in which to find the errors that seem to creep into our stories like lice. The fact is, there are very few legitimately professional editors and/or copyeditors working at publishing houses these days, especially at smaller publishers, and authors who are self-publishing their own works may even skip the professional-editor-input altogether. For that reason, it’s even more crucial to have a stage where the writer sees his book in this final form (and this is true even if the book is only released as an ebook without a paper component), where he can catch (probably not all but most) typos. While you can always print a copy from your own printer, I highly recommend utilizing a publishing service like Amazon, Lulu, or any other you like to set up an inexpensive hard copy of your book to serve as an advanced reading copy. In this form, you'll see your book in a state that's close to what readers will see it in after it's published (if a print edition will be made available). That's valuable. This is really just for your own use so try to find a cheap way to do this. You don't need cover art for this copy, but you're there so there's no reason not to, since you might want to access how that comes out as well. I'll also add that I don't recommend buying actually "proofreading" copies from most printers, like Amazon. Those copies can ruin the actual book so you can't see parts of it that you need to evaluate because the printer adds huge banners over portions of the wraparound around cover, covering up the text, etc. below. How ridiculous! I recommend purchasing a regular paperback copy of the book, just like readers will get if they buy it, that's not specifically for what these services deem proofreading copies.

3. If for no other reason, providing yourself with this final read-through is your very last chance before your editor sees it to make changes. You want her to find the finished product almost perfect, right? 

Back to the whys and wherefores of doing a final read-through of a book before it's considered done. During this final read through of the book, you shouldn't need to do much beyond exterminating typos and formatting errors, and doing that is a great case for adding this step to the process. But the final read-through serves another valuable benefit: It's a neat way of putting yourself in the position of being the first reader for the book. Naturally, this means you want to put as much time as you can afford into staying away from the book and not reading a word of it until you're ready to complete the final read-through (i.e., if you're sick to death of the story, you can't see it objectively). As much as possible, ignore the fact that you have a very personal affiliation with the book and simply read it--both in a critical and savoring mind-frame. Take your time reading to evaluate how the story goes over for you in this state. Do you love the story and your characters? Are you wrapped up totally in their worlds? How are you emotionally while you're reading it--removed and unsympathetic or invested wholly? Have you captured everything authentically? Or do you think you might need to do more work anywhere? Keep a tablet handy during this time so you write any notes you might need for fixing issues.

When I get to this stage in the process, I usually find very little is required and I may not add more than a thousand words during this time, which is still a nice, "gilding" layer. The story is brimming with life and there’s almost nothing left to stumble over or smooth out. Most importantly, though, in nearly every case I come out loving the story more than I ever have before. It exceeds the expectations I had for it when it was little more than the spark that incited me to write the story. Truthfully, I don't consider that conceit. I'd worry if I didn't have that reaction. If you don't love your own work, don't become immersed in the worlds and characters and conflicts contained in your stories, how can you expect readers to?

In the past few months, we've talked in-depth about the "grunge work" involved in completing a book. Each of the stages add a layer of your story--very strong layers that, for career authors, should be the necessary steps in ensuring multidimensional writing. Each time you add something new during these stages, you're creating another vital layer that makes the whole story stronger, richer, and more three-dimensional. Doing so also allows us to see another perspective of our story and can fuse in more and more details to forge three-dimensionality. Don't neglect the crucial elbow work involved in "decorating" your book since it's what makes your story not only a thing of beauty but a source of personal pride.

Happy writing!

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Writing Holiday Stories: Tricks (and Treats) by Karen S. Wiesner

 Writer's Craft Article by Karen S. Wiesner

Writing Holiday Stories: Tricks (and Treats) 

Who doesn't love to read chilling tales at Halloween that embed inside readers deeply enough for them to bite their nails, shiver, or even scream out loud?

Holiday stories have always been popular. Scrooge and those life-altering ghosts of goodwill in A Christmas Carol have been giving readers pause for reflection in the 179 years since it was first published; An Old-Fashioned Thanksgiving by Louisa May Alcott is all about family and gathering together grateful hearts; Emma, with its matchmaking namesake, is an unexpected tale custom-made for Valentine's Day; not to mention Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman thundering through the chill autumn countryside in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Whole hosts of fiction give us reading adventures that embody the spirit of the holidays they're set around. But what distinguishes a holiday story from all others? In this article, we'll talk about three tricks writers can use to craft authentic holiday fiction that will give readers a treat year in and year out.

1          1)    Prominently Feature the Holiday Itself

Just because there's a romance alluded to somewhere in the story doesn't necessarily mean it's a Valentine's Day story any more than any old garden variety of frightening tale is specifically a Halloween one. Before embarking on a specific type of holiday story, write down what defines the particular festivity you're writing about and what you want to highlight in your unique take on it. While countless stories have become holiday favorites unintentionally, if you want to write something that could become seasonally beloved, starting with a plan is wise. Be specific about you want to accomplish using this season in your story elements because in some ways you're actually making the holiday a character that needs to be developed fully and consistently throughout the tale. The more preparation you do in advance, the more your readers will exult in how you've captured the essence of the holiday.

Washington Irving's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow has become an annual All Hallows' favorite since it was first published in 1820, although the author may not have specifically intended it to become such a Halloween haunt. Based on a 1790 Dutch settlement, the secluded glen of Sleepy Holly depicts a quaint, autumnal countryside in which the community is fascinated by tales of the supernatural. His vivid descriptions are the driving force behind this treasured yuletide yarn:

"From the listless repose of the place, and the peculiar character of its inhabitants, who are descendants from the original Dutch settlers, this sequestered glen has long been known by the name of Sleepy Hollow, and its rustic lads are called the Sleepy Hollow Boys throughout all the neighboring country. A drowsy, dreamy influence seems to hang over the land, and to pervade the very atmosphere... Certain it is, the place still continues under the sway of some witching power, that holds a spell over the minds of the good people, causing them to walk in a continual reverie. They are given to all kinds of marvellous beliefs; are subject to trances and visions; and frequently see strange sights, and hear music and voices in the air. The whole neighborhood abounds with local tales, haunted spots, and twilight superstitions: stars shoot and meteors glare oftener across the valley than in any other part of the country, and the nightmare, with her whole nine fold, seems to make it the favorite scene of her gambols...

"On all sides he beheld vast store of apples; some hanging in oppressive opulence on the trees; some gathered into baskets and barrels for the market; others heaped up in rich piles for the cider-press. Farther on he beheld great fields of Indian corn, with its golden ears peeping from their leafy coverts, and holding out the promise of cakes and hasty-pudding; and the yellow pumpkins lying beneath them, turning up their fair round bellies to the sun..."

2)    Set the Mood for a Seasonal Tale

The second thing that distinguishes any holiday story is mood (or tone). Mood is a carefully constructed means of building layers of tension and suspense, and the tone almost always fits the genre. Romance stories capture the tender feelings of swoon-worthy, appealing main characters that readers will root through obstacles to see share a happily ever after. Mystery stories tend to have an escalating sense of drama and the certainty that something is just not right; only by unraveling the confounding threads and clues can peace and order once again prevail. Gothic leans toward a suffocating feel of atmospheric foreboding. Horror should have the hairs at the back of your neck standing on end and you have to fight the constant need to look back over your shoulder to see if there's something unnatural lurking there.

In the same way, Christmas stories tend to be merry, festive, nostalgic, filled with hope and cheer and benevolence. Valentine's Day stories are frequently romantic, passionate, and rife with promise for the future. Easter tales usually personify grace, redemption, and joy. Thanksgiving yarns are overflowing with the gathering of loved ones, images of feasts and bounty, the good things to be grateful for in our otherwise mundane lives. Each holiday has evocative sentiments that tend to be universal.

Sensory descriptions that evoke the individual seasons should be used in holiday stories at their most potent times. Vivid descriptions bring the reader directly into this kind of story. Using these, you give something tangible in your vision. Your reader moves and uses his senses right along with your characters. The most effective way to capture mood is by using all the senses, as Washington Irving did so effectively in his Gothic tale that contains the epitome of all things spooky:

"It was the very witching time of night that Ichabod, heavyhearted and crest-fallen, pursued his travel homewards, along the sides of the lofty hills which rise above Tarry Town, and which he had traversed so cheerily in the afternoon. The hour was as dismal as himself. Far below him, the Tappan Zee spread its dusky and indistinct waste of waters, with here and there the tall mast of a sloop, riding quietly at anchor under the land. In the dead hush of midnight, he could even hear the barking of the watch-dog from the opposite shore of the Hudson; but it was so vague and faint as only to give an idea of his distance from this faithful companion of man. Now and then, too, the long-drawn crowing of a cock, accidentally awakened, would sound far, far off, from some farm-house away among the hills—but it was like a dreaming sound in his ear. No signs of life occurred near him, but occasionally the melancholy chirp of a cricket, or perhaps the guttural twang of a bull-frog, from a neighboring marsh, as if sleeping uncomfortably, and turning suddenly in his bed."

3)    Immerse the Story in the Setting

Setting is a critical foundation to immersing characters in a world that's directly tied to the holiday you're depicting in the story. In A Writer’s Guide to Active Setting: How to Enhance Your Fiction With More Descriptive, Dynamic Settings, Mary Buckham says, "Setting can create the world of your story, show characterization, add conflict, slow or speed up your pacing, add or decrease tension, relate a character's backstory, thread in emotion, and more… Setting can add so much to your story world or it can add nothing." If you're writing a Christmas story, for example, you're literally at the mercy of your imagination when it comes to crafting prose that floods the senses with Christmas songs, scents, tastes, sights, sensations, and the sheer multitude and range of emotions that can accompany each.

In fiction, settings should be less about objective reality (impersonal) and all about subjective experience (highly personal), especially when you're writing a holiday-specific story. Settings may provide the backdrop for festivity events to unfold, but they do much more than that by creating the context of each scene. Settings can suggest conflicts, personality, memories, goals, and motivations. The connotations are endless. What does the setting reveal about the character’s state of mind, preferences, desires this holiday season? What does the setting reveal about relationships? What in the setting means the most to the main character and/or brings the most regrets? What internal conflicts and motivations can be drawn to describe holidays more tangibly as a result? Are there ways in which the current holiday setting has been influenced by something that happened in the past, and what associations can be made with past events to deepen the present? How can this setting be used to establish the foundation for escalating conflict and suspense in the course of the holiday unfolding?

When you relate all of these things to the specific festivity you're highlighting in your story, amazing prose can homogenously emerge, as it did in Irving's haunting language that screams and embodies Halloween:

"All the stories of ghosts and goblins that he had heard in the afternoon, now came crowding upon his recollection. The night grew darker and darker; the stars seemed to sink deeper in the sky, and driving clouds occasionally hid them from his sight. He had never felt so lonely and dismal. He was, moreover, approaching the very place where many of the scenes of the ghost stories had been laid. In the centre of the road stood an enormous tulip-tree, which towered like a giant above all the other trees of the neighborhood, and formed a kind of landmark. Its limbs were gnarled and fantastic, large enough to form trunks for ordinary trees, twisting down almost to the earth, and rising again into the air... The common people regarded it with a mixture of respect and superstition...

As Ichabod approached this fearful tree, he began to whistle: he thought his whistle was answered—it was but a blast sweeping sharply through the dry branches. As he approached a little nearer, he thought he saw something white, hanging in the midst of the tree—he paused and ceased whistling; but on looking more narrowly, perceived that it was a place where the tree had been scathed by lightning, and the white wood laid bare. Suddenly he heard a groan—his teeth chattered and his knees smote against the saddle; it was but the rubbing of one huge bough upon another, as they were swayed about by the breeze. He passed the tree in safety, but new perils lay before him.

About two hundred yards from the tree a small brook crossed the road, and ran into a marshy and thickly-wooded glen, known by the name of Wiley's swamp. A few rough logs, laid side by side, served for a bridge over this stream. On that side of the road where the brook entered the wood, a group of oaks and chestnuts, matted thick with wild grapevines, threw a cavernous gloom over it. To pass this bridge was the severest trial. This has ever...been considered a haunted stream, and fearful are the feelings of the schoolboy who has to pass it alone after dark.

As he approached the stream his heart began to thump... Just at this moment a plashy tramp by the side of the bridge caught the sensitive ear of Ichabod. In the dark shadow of the grove, on the margin of the brook, he beheld something huge, misshapen, black, and towering. It stirred not, but seemed gathered up in the gloom, like some gigantic monster ready to spring upon the traveller.

The hair of the affrighted pedagogue rose upon his head with terror. What was to be done? To turn and fly was now too late; and besides, what chance was there of escaping ghost or goblin, if such it was, which could ride upon the wings of the wind?"

Readers love holiday stories for good reason. Using these tips, you can help your readers get in the mood for the season with a timeless favorite they can look forward to returning to each year.

What are some of your favorite holiday stories? What elements make them timeless reading on those special days of the year?

Happy writing!

Just in time for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas!

Adventures in Amethyst Trio of Holiday Romances by Karen Wiesner
 
Three holiday novels in one volume including:

Halloween: NEVER A BRIDE, Book 11: When Charlize met Ben, he was in a committed relationship--the last thing she wanted. She returns at Halloween to find that Ben and Layla have broken up, but his ex- is having a change of heart. Despite the complications, the solution could be as simple as a kiss.

Thanksgiving: UNLUCKY IN LOVE, Book 12: Layla and Adam find themselves jilted at Thanksgiving. Heartbroken and wondering if there's anything left to redeem, they re-evaluate life…and love.

Christmas: SHOTGUN WEDDING, Book 13: Right out high school, Trevor and Eden married for the baby on the way. Years later at Christmas time, she finds herself competing with the other woman he'd been interested in back then, and their shotgun wedding is called into question.

Find out more here:

http://www.writers-exchange.com/trio-of-holiday-romances/

http://mybook.to/AdventuresAmethystTrio

https://karenwiesner.wee​bly.com/adventures-in-amethyst-series.html

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html

She's also an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150+ titles and 16 series. Visit her here:

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Karen S. Wiesner: Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5D General Revision Choices, concluded

Writer's Craft Article

Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5D

General Revision Choices, concluded

by Karen S. Wiesner

Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

In this three month, in-depth series, we're going to go over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.

In the previous part of this series, we went over general revision choices. Let's finish that.

Tip Sheet: Effective Revision Choices

• Don't make me repeat myself--avoid careless repetition. Watch for repeated words. If you have a noun or verb in the first paragraph of a page, then that same word again at the end of the same page, it literally jumps out at the reader. The same can be true if you repeat a word for no other reason except that you couldn't think of a better, similar, more effective one. Look carefully at the first paragraph in the example below, rife with repetition that jumps out with its overuse, then notice the differences in the published version:

It was daylight. Mortal time of day, not his, and I felt the need to see what the men had done to his once beautiful home, to see if I could indeed walk the exorcized grounds or sleep in the wooden boxes defiled by holy hosts and holy water.

I searched the wall until I found a low wooden door hanging partway open, open enough that I could squeeze my body through.

On the opposite side, the once beautiful gardens were overgrown with weeds and scrubby bushes. The abbey church that had undoubtedly once been beautiful was overgrown with scrubby bushes and weeds that surrounded the vaulted stone frames empty of their holy glass.

What had happened to the holy order that had once lived here? Did their ghosts still walk these quiet grounds, broken, desolate souls among broken dreams?

Did the vampire's soul walk with their broken, desolate souls?

***

It was daylight. Mortal time, not his, and I felt the need to see what the men had done to his home, to see if I could indeed walk the exorcized grounds or sleep in the boxes defiled by hosts and holy water.

I searched the wall until I found a low wooden door hanging partway open, enough that I could squeeze my body through.

On the opposite side, the once beautiful gardens were overgrown with weeds and scrubby bushes. The abbey church that had undoubtedly once been beautiful was covered with dead ivy that surrounded the vaulted stone frames empty of their holy glass.

What had happened to the order that had once lived here? Did their ghosts still walk these quiet grounds, desolate souls among broken dreams?

Did the vampire's soul walk with theirs?

--Mina, by Marie Kiraly

Fixing this kind of problem is an editing and polishing job that really requires a lot of uninterrupted focus.

• Then again, all repetition isn't bad. Save repetition for places where it drives the impact deeper in, rather than annoying the reader or calling attention to your words:

Nothing was enough. Sitting still wasn't enough. Getting his hands on her wasn't enough. He wanted to devour her whole.

--Falling Star, by Karen Wiesner

• A thesaurus is not always a writer's best friend. Another thing I feel I must mention is that newer writers tend to overuse their thesaurus. While variety is good, you don't want to sound like you've been using a thesaurus. For instance, in this sentence, I've clearly used my thesaurus way too often:

The redolent perfume of gingerbread accosted her the moment she strode into her ignoble tenement.

 However, this type of "thesaurus talk" is perfectly acceptable if you use it as a character tag in dialogue. I remember a character in the TV series thirtysomething who spoke like a human thesaurus. He was one of the most intriguing people on the show. I can hear Miles Drentell quite distinctly saying:

"Ah! The redolent perfume of gingerbread accosted me the moment I strode into your ignoble tenement."

As with all guidelines, none of these suggestions are hard and fast rules. You'll know it's written the way it's meant to be when it won't be cut, replaced, or reworked in any other way. Only then will your editing and polishing be complete.

Next week, we'll conclude this series on the grunge work involved in completing a story.

Happy writing!

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Karen S. Wiesner: Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5D General Revision Choices, continued

Writer's Craft Article

Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5D

General Revision Choices, continued

by Karen S. Wiesner

Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

In this three month, in-depth series, we're going to go over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.

In the previous part of this series, we went over general revision choices. Let's continue.

Tip Sheet: Effective Revision Choices

• As a general rule, avoid long sentences. While it's true that a dramatic scene should have longer sentences than an action scene, be careful not to have too many. Overuse of long sentences makes the style of writing clunkier than it needs to (and should) be. Take this example, for instance:

It was too terrible to close his eyes, and they burned with an internal pressure while his mouth was locked open in a scream that never came--at least he still recognized the shapes around him as hallucinations.

Now the panting confusion of this sentence might seem extreme, but I see sentences like this all the time as a contest judge and critic. Sentences can't be readily comprehended, let alone absorbed, in this form. Most readers can digest a single action or idea, perhaps two, in a single sentence. Any more than that, and they start to get confused and can't follow the action.

Think about each portion of a sentence as one action/idea that needs to be comprehended by the reader. For instance, one action/idea could be that the hero can't close his eyes. Next, he's realizing that he can at least still recognize the shapes as hallucinations. Then his mouth is locking open in a scream. You get the picture. Now let's look at this example as it was published in its more digestible, pleasing format in Thunderhead, by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child:

It was too terrible. He could not close his eyes, and they burned with an internal pressure. His mouth was locked open in a scream that never came. At least he still recognized the shapes around him as hallucinations.

Imagine if every single sentence in your book was made up of three or four actions/ideas. It would read like you were plodding one mucky step after the other through a swamp.

Breaking up long sentences into two or more, as seen in the examples below, makes them much more immediate, and allows the reader to absorb what she's reading more easily.

Collet wheeled, his anger brimming as he thought, They lured us upstairs with the intercom! Searching the other side of the bar, he found a long line of horse stalls but no horses. Apparently the owner preferred a different kind of horsepower; the stalls had been converted into an impressive automotive parking facility, and the collection was astounding, including a black Ferrari, a pristine Rolls-Royce, an antique Astin Martin sports coupe, a vintage Porsche 356.

***

Collet wheeled, anger brimming. They lured us upstairs with the intercom! Searching the other side of the bar, he found a long line of horse stalls. No horses. Apparently the owner preferred a different kind of horsepower; the stalls had been converted into an impressive automotive parking facility. The collection was astounding--a black Ferrari, a pristine Rolls-Royce, an antique Astin Martin sports coupe, a vintage Porsche 356.

--The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

In the revised version, we get rid of as, realized, and that, and the result has a smoother rhythm and more impact. You'll also notice that the revised version just reads smoother, more like the music flow we're striving for as composing writers. Break your sentences up so readers can readily digest them.

The editing and polishing stage is the perfect time to be on the lookout for those overly long sentences. If you have to take a highlighter to each one so you're focused on fixing this problem, know that the end result will be well worth your effort.

• Unassuming it. I'm guilty of assuming that everyone will understand what I mean when I use the word it. Most writers do have some guilt in this regard. This happens most often in a first draft, but during editing and polishing, pay special attention to this little word to make sure you're not assuming your reader will know what you mean with its use. The word it, especially when used near the beginning of a sentence, loses focus and therefore impact on the reader. Don't let it sit there, assuming a role that hasn't been defined, explained, or adequately described. Try to make it more specific in your sentences, for instance:

It had taken a heavy toll on him, but he didn't appreciate seeing proof in the mirror.

This sentence begs a myriad of questions. What took a heavy toll? A death, an accusation, a sledge hammer? Any one of these and a million more could work. Luckily, this author didn't allow an it to assume itself to the reader.

The past year had taken a heavy toll on him, but he didn't appreciate seeing proof in the mirror.

--The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

Next week, we'll conclude the general revision choices.

Happy writing!

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Karen S. Wiesner: Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5D General Revision Choices, continued

Writer's Craft Article

Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5D

General Revision Choices, continued

by Karen S. Wiesner

Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

In this three month, in-depth series, we're going to go over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.

In the previous part of this series, we went over general revision choices. Let's continue.

Tip Sheet: Effective Revision Choices

• Watch adverb usage. Go over your story with a highlighter, picking out all the adverbs that end with -ly. You can't and won't--and contrary to what most experts will tell you--you shouldn't get rid of all of them. Adverbs have their place, just as adjectives do, so don't go crazy on this point and turn out an adverb-free story as if you'll win an award just for managing this feat. That said, it is very true that adverb-overwhelmed narrative tends to bog a story down. There's usually a better (less boring) way of writing these words that so easily pepper a first draft, such as in this example:

Guilt ran thickly through Jacquelyn's blood.

***

Jacquelyn's blood ran thick with guilt.

--A Time to Mend, by Angela Hunt

A lot is conveyed in the second version that wasn’t in the first, so the change involved more than simply cleaning up an adverb. In the second version (the published one), the delivery of the sentence itself is action-packed and to the point. You can almost feel shame, a violent and dirty emotion, polluting the character's veins. You want images like this to come through as you’re editing and polishing, so watch for opportunities to refine them.

• Avoid overused words. Was/wasn't, were/weren't, did/didn't, have/haven't, is/isn't, are/aren't, to be/been are some the most common culprits. Using a different color highlighter or your computer search function, highlight these words to see how often you're using them, then try to find viable substitutes for them. When I critique someone else's work or judge a contest entry, I usually find hundreds of these within just a few pages. While you can't and shouldn't get rid of all of them, make sure you're using as much active voice as possible.

To give you an example of what a difference it makes to clean up these words, below you'll see basically the same sentence, but written without overused words in the second example:

He'd have known it anyway. Fury was something he felt like pure energy coming from it in waves. It was hot and powerful, rolling toward him like heat from a house fire.

***

He'd have known it anyway--he could feel fury as pure energy coming from it in waves, like heat from a house fire.

--Constantine, by John Shirley

Both of these examples say about the same thing. The difference is that the first is written in an unimaginative, overwhelming, passive voice, the second in an active, impacting one that's extremely effective. It's just tighter and clearer to read.

Remove the clutter of unnecessary words as much as possible in your editing and polishing. Do the same for a whole host of careless choices in sentence structure. One culprit that crops up inevitably is the little phrase was going to. In a sentence like "She was going to be strong and independent," the was going to can easily be replaced with would. Or better yet, She'd. The outcome, "She'd be strong and independent," is right to the point without unnecessary words to clutter it up.

• Overused "idea stringers". Replace words like when, as, realized, wondered, occurred, felt, seem, appear, look. These are some of the most overused words in existence because they string ideas together so easily. But if you see them more than once per page, they start to call attention to themselves. As with adverbs, you can't get rid of them all, but you can reword or vary them. One way to handle this situation is to replace these words with more effective words or phrases:

She was greeted by the scent of gingerbread when she stepped into her apartment.

***

The scent of gingerbread greeted her the instant she stepped into her apartment.

We also get rid of that dreaded was in this revision. When can also be replaced with while, once, before/after, as, etc. Another good way to deal with these worn words is to take them out completely, dividing the sentence into two or more sentences instead:

She realized she could have called out to him only after he walked away and turned the corner.

***

He walked away. She watched him in mute shock. Only after he turned the corner did the word "Wait!" fill her throat with violent need.

While the first example is succinct, it reads very slowly and is a bit unfocused. The second version has a lot more impact, putting the reader both in the scene and in the character's viewpoint, as well as eliminating overused words.

• Start with a bang. Avoid sentences that begin with There was/were, It was, They were, He was. They tend to slow things down, and risk putting your reader to sleep. An example of passive construction, and suggested revision follow:

There was no evidence that he had heard her.

***

If he heard her, he gave no indication.

This one is another example of the reader looking through a glass pane at your character versus being with the character. You truly do want your reader with your characters.

• Wilt thou use contractions, or continue to live in the past? I honestly don't know why contractions are an issue, but I've lost count of how many contemporary contest entries and books I've read in which the writer refuses to use contractions (and, yes, that emphasis is important to note because a writer who refuses to use contractions is one who refuses to allow her characters to decide how they will or won't speak). We live in the twenty-first century. Everyone uses contractions in verbal speech, and our written words should reflect that.

Remember that the words you use have an impact on the reader's perceptions of the characters. A character who never uses contractions will come off as stuffy, uptight, and snooty. Besides, using contractions will give your sentences more immediate impact. So please do use contractive forms of had, have, will, etc. as much as you can if you're writing a contemporary story. Check out these examples, with the better ones coming from The Ocean Between Us, by Susan Wiggs:

She had said all those things many times before.

***

She'd said all those things many times before.

She still could not believe she had gone through with it.

***

She still couldn't believe she'd gone through with it.

While editing and polishing, you can easily use a highlighter or the search function of your word-processing program to make sure you don't inadvertently leave a cannot or have not in there. Save contractions for when someone is speaking in dialogue and making a point (possibly in anger) by not using a contraction instead.

Next week, we'll continue with the general revision choices.

Happy writing!

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

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Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

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