Karen S. Wiesner: Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5B Editing and Polishing Dialogue Tip Sheet

Writer's Craft Article

Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5B

Editing and Polishing Dialogue Tip Sheet

by Karen S. Wiesner

Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

In this three month, in-depth series, we're going to go over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.

In the previous part of this series, we discussed editing and polishing tricks and covered description tips. This time we'll go over editing and polishing dialogue tips.

Tip Sheet: Dialogue

• Effective dialogue can transform a story into something unforgettable. External dialogue is everything characters say out loud, to themselves occasionally, most often to other characters in the story. Dialogue is important in a story. Few writers would tell you otherwise, but few realize just how essential it is. You'll most notice how effective dialogue can be in fleshing out a story when you take it out of your writing. For instance, take a look at this passage written entirely without dialogue:

She told us there was five hundred dollars in the envelope. That what she was about to ask us was very unusual and we might not want to do it. If we did decide not to accept, the five hundred dollars was for us to forget all about her.

I told her I'd pretend she was my algebra lessons in high school.

Roger glared at me as if my sparkling wit might scare her off, and asked what she wanted us to do.

She leaned forward confidentially. She wanted us to dig up her husband's grave.

Roger and I simultaneously leaned forward. I begged her pardon.

Her husband was buried last night, she explained, and she wanted us to dig up the coffin.

It was clear from Roger's expression that he considered this task quite a bit less appealing than wild kinky sex. He asked her if she was kidding.

She shook her head, saying she was completely serious.

Was this the kind of thing she usually asked people in coffee shops? Maybe she walked in here by mistake thinking it was Maude and Vinny's Discount Graverobbing Emporium.

Now read the same passage as it's actually published--with effective and varied dialogue--in Jeff Strand's Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary):

"Inside this envelope is five hundred dollars. What I'm going to ask is very unusual, and you may not want to do it. If you decide not to accept, the five hundred dollars is for you to forget all about me. Deal?"

"Sounds great," I said. "I'll just pretend you were my algebra lessons in high school."

Roger glares at me as if my sparkling wit might scare her off. "What do you want us to do?"

She leaned forward confidentially. "I want you to dig up my husband's grave."

Roger and I simultaneously leaned forward. "I beg your pardon?" I asked.

"My husband was buried last night, and I want you to dig up the coffin."

It was clear from Roger's expression that he considered this task quite a bit less appealing than wild kinky sex. "You're kidding, right?"

She shook her head. "I'm completely serious."

"Is this the kind of thing you usually ask people in coffee shops?" I inquired. "Are you sure you didn't walk in here by mistake thinking it was Maude and Vinny's Discount Graverobbing Emporium?"

Undeniably, dialogue truly adds spice and impact to any story, so use it effectively.

• Passages or an entire chapter made up of nothing but dialogue can cause readers to lose focus on everything outside the dialogue. You might laugh about that because it's so obvious, but, in my many years of critiquing unpublished contest entries, this is one of the most commonly made mistakes I've seen.

We discussed the importance of using dialogue effectively, but let's turn it around this time. Instead of taking the dialogue completely out of a passage to see how necessary it is, let's make the passage all dialogue. Look at the next example:

"Will it come back today?" Ramo asked.

"It may," I answered him. "More likely it will come after many suns, for the country where it has gone is far off."

"I do not care if the ship never comes," he said.

"Why do you say this?" I asked him.

"Why?" I asked again.

"Because I like it here with you," he said. "It is more fun than when the others were here. Tomorrow I am going to where the canoes are hidden and bring one back to Coral Cove. We will use it to fish in and to go looking around the island."

"They are too heavy for you to put into the water."

"You will see."

"You forget that I am the son of Chowig," he said.

"I do not forget," I answered. "But you are a small son. Someday you will be tall and strong and then you will be able to handle a big canoe."

The passage is pure dialogue, and it reads like bullets firing from a gun. (I call writing like this "dialogue bullets".) When dialogue is used exclusively, you don't find out who's talking, and you lose focus on the characters, their goals and motivations, and their emotions in the scene.

Now read an effectively written version of the same passage as it was published in Scott O'Dell's classic, Island of the Blue Dolphins:

The air was clear and we could look far out to sea in the direction the ship had gone.

"Will it come back today?" Ramo asked.

"It may," I answered him, though I did not think so. "More likely it will come after many suns, for the country where it has gone is far off."

Ramo looked up at me. His black eyes shone.

"I do not care if the ship never comes," he said.

"Why do you say this?" I asked him.

Ramo thought, making a hole in the earth with the point of his spear.

"Why?" I asked again.

"Because I like it here with you," he said. "It is more fun than when the others were here. Tomorrow I am going to where the canoes are hidden and bring one back to Coral Cove. We will use it to fish in and to go looking around the island."

"They are too heavy for you to put into the water."

"You will see."

Ramo threw out his chest. Around his neck was a string of sea-elephant teeth which someone had left behind. It was much too large for him and the teeth were broken, but they rattled as he thrust the spear down between us.

"You forget that I am the son of Chowig," he said.

"I do not forget," I answered. "But you are a small son. Someday you will be tall and strong and then you will be able to handle a big canoe."

The scene now has focus and the text takes you right inside the scene and the characters. You not only feel with them, you see what's around them in the scene and get a glimpse of what they're doing physically. The dialogue provides a catalyst to all this, advancing plot and characterization.

As a general rule, only use "dialogue bullets" when you need to create extreme tension. Here's an example, from Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove, of how this can be done proficiently without losing any of the texture:

"How's Maude Rainey?" he asked.

"She's in good health," Call said. "She fed me twice."

"Good thing it was just twice," Augustus said. "If you'd stayed a week you'd have had to rent an ox to get home on."

"She's anxious to sell you some more pigs," Call said, taking the jug and rinsing his mouth with whiskey.

"If Joe was to get kilt I might court her again," Augustus speculated.

"I hope you will," Call said. "Them twelve young ones ought to have a good father. What are the horses doing back here so soon?"

"Why, grazing, most likely," Augustus said.

"Didn't Pedro make a try?"

"No, he didn't, and for a very good reason," Augustus said.

"What reason would that be?"

"Because he died," Augustus said.

The dialogue in this passage effectively manages to convey characters, emotions, goals and motivations, plot, even setting, all sprinkled liberally with a good deal of humor.

• Effective internal dialogue can flesh out your characters. Internal monologue is everything the characters don't say out loud; these are essentially their thoughts. Not everyone can write this type of dialogue effectively, so play around with it for a while. There are two types of internal monologue, and you can use whichever one is most effective for a particular scene. The following example, from my novel Falling Star, is fine as is:

He was smooth all right. Nate chided himself as Rori disappeared into her father's house. With a little more practice, he could apply to snake charming school.

Add internal monologue and it really turns the paragraph into something personal and intriguing:

That was smooth, Nate chided himself as Rori disappeared into her father's house. Very smooth. You could apply to snake charming school with a little more practice.

The second example brings the reader directly into the character's thoughts and has much more impact. Effective dialogue always reveals character.

• Dialogue--what a character says and how he says it--reveals the inner person, and more. The manner in which a character speaks and the particular words she chooses say something about her. Dialogue will and should reflect who the character is, even what she does for a living.

On the other hand, the occasional character who doesn't fit her stereotyped mold is always intriguing to a reader. Make a bad boy or a cowboy philosophize about the poetic insight of Shakespeare. Make a wallflower put on a vixen red dress and stiletto heels and temporarily act out of character.

Take a look at this example of dialogue reflecting character from Marilyn Pappano's A Dangerous Man:

A faint tinge of color accompanied her next shrug. "The body. The muscles. The grace. You're obviously in very good shape, and you move very gracefully but with a great deal of control."

That control relaxed almost enough to allow him to smile--almost. "I wasn't aware you'd noticed."

"You're the only observant one." She went around to sit behind her desk and moved several items he'd placed there an inch or so to one side.

He adjusted the blinds, stepping back to avoid a shower of dust from the slats as they tilted, then warned, "Leave these just like this."

"Yes, sir." She offered him a mock salute. "You give orders very well. Did you get to do much of that in the Army?"

The dialogue reveals what the hero has done for a living as a retired Army master sergeant, and cleverly incorporates a bit of description. Hero and heroine are star-crossed lovers who parted badly once upon a time and have now been reunited by danger, which is hinted at here, in the dialogue that also touches on their situation, emotions, and conflicts very effectively.

• Start your story with dialogue. An old, very effective (and infrequently used) trick of the writer's trade is to snag a reader with a fascinating morsel of dialogue at the very beginning of a story. You can't lose. You begin with immediate action and conflict, and the reader is brought into the scene from that very first sentence. Look at these examples and judge for yourself. I'd be shocked if you didn't want to read more of each:

"Why are you writing a stupid parking ticket when there are killers running around loose?"

--Badge of Honor, by Justine Davis

***

He looks like a walking corpse, Xizor thought.

--Shadows of the Empire, by Steve Perry

***

"Death," the proprietor said clearly, showing the stone.

--On a Pale Horse, by Piers Anthony

***

"I had the dream again last night."

--The Seventh Night, by Amanda Stevens

***

"I want to meet my dad."

--Daniel's Gift, by Barbara Freethy

***

"Ray Bans, a five o'clock shadow, and a black leather jacket."

--Private Dancer, by Suzanne Forster

• Vary each character's dialogue. How do you make your characters sound different? By making a conscious effort to do so. Make a list of your important characters. If you know their personalities, you'll have a good idea about certain things they would and wouldn't say, and ways they would and wouldn't say them. Are they prone to the vernacular--in other words, do they use street language? I know most writers have some kind of aversion to writing slang of any kind, but they're not doing justice to their characters if they don't take into account that many people do use slang--often, and as a habit and a choice.

Or do characters "sound" more like English professors? And, again, this shouldn't be the writer's choice. Some writers use dialogue that makes all their characters sound like English professors, and the dialogue becomes monotonous because it's not varied from character to character. That's not good or even effective writing.

Do characters use dialogue somewhere between slang and uptight English professor? Do characters use a lot of internal dialogue? If you don't know the answers to these questions, spend more time on this in the editing and polishing stage.

Try creating dialogue worksheets for all your main characters to keep track of their unique dialogue idiosyncrasies. Sometimes dialogue comes easily and you won't need to map out or think about how a certain character would talk. Other times, you'll have to sit down and map out specific words or phrases certain characters would use. Create tags or mannerisms for some of them. Once you've figured out who says what and how she'll say it, go through your book from start to finish and mold her dialogue to the specifics you've mapped out for her.

Dialogue can be turned into a catalyst for a dynamic story during your editing and polishing.

Next week, I'll present an editing and polishing tip sheet for introspection.

Happy writing!

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

The Meaning of Money

What gives money (or any "moneylike" form of currency) its value? What makes us willing to accept it in exchange for concrete items of value? Cory Doctorow dissects this conundrum in his latest LOCUS column:

Moneylike

After an attempt to define money, he explores its origin. He rejects the familiar hypothesis of its having been invented to solve the cumbersome difficulties of barter, labeling this a "folk-tale." Instead of a "bottom-up" model of the creation of media of exchange, he describes money as a "top-down" system imposed by governments, which required the existence of currency to collect taxes in order to provision their armies. Where, then, does the money itself come from? It's generated by governments, and problems can occur if the state issues either too much or too little of it. Doctorow illustrates and analyzes this model at length in an extended parable. Items other than official currency can be "moneylike," such as gift certificates. Elaborating on the concept of "moneylike" media of exchange, he goes into detail about how cryptocurrency works, especially with reference to internet ransomware.

Robert Heinlein includes a discussion of what constitutes value in STARSHIP TROOPERS, where the narrator's high-school teacher refutes the claim that labor alone creates value. Heinlein's TIME ENOUGH FOR LOVE contains an amusing scene in which Lazarus Long, acting as the banker for a frontier planet colony, destroys a batch of paper money, to the horror of the man he's dealing with. Lazarus has to explain that money doesn't consist of a physical thing with objective value, but a consensus reality people agree on. As long as Lazarus keeps a record of the serial numbers from the bills he gets rid of, there's no need to preserve the bills themselves (which pose a theft risk).

In one of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels, the capital city adopts the Golem Standard. What could serve as a better backing for currency than objects that are almost impossible to steal, counterfeit, or destroy (especially since they're sapient and can defend themselves)?

In the Star Trek universe, conflicting information about the future economy appears in the various series. In the original series, Starfleet personnel must get paid somehow, as shown by Uhura's purchase of a tribble in "The Trouble with Tribbles." Outside of Starfleet, the existence of money is confirmed in "Mudd's Women" and the episode in which Spock poses as a Vulcan merchant. Supposedly by the time of STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION the ubiquity of replicators has made the Federation a post-scarcity society with no need for money. Yet on the fringes (as in DEEP SPACE NINE) and outside the Federation's borders, as made clear by the Ferengi veneration of profit, money exists. Gold-pressed latinum as a medium of exchange is explained on the premise that it's one of the few substances incapable of being replicated. (We have to assume dilithium crystals must fall into the same category, or else obtaining them wouldn't be such a vital preoccupation in the original series.) It seems reasonable that luxury goods in the form of items not produced by replicators, such as the Picard family's wines, would require a medium of exchange for their sale. Or are we to assume creators of such products make them for the sheer joy of the process and give them away? Regardless of post-scarcity abundance, widespread actions like that would imply a radical change in human nature that we don't witness among the Terrans of the Star Trek universe in any other behavioral category.

Margaret L. Carter

Carter's Crypt

Misdirection

Words matter.

 

Deceptively worded advertisements could be the result of intentional deceit, or of under-educated copy writers, or of over reliance on Artificial Intelligence (spell check etc). 

 

A recent class action lawsuit might hang on whether or not a judge agrees with plaintiffs that "Flavor" and "Flavored" are not strictly synonymous.

 

On the topic of offensive F-words, "flaunt" and "flout" are often misused, especially by political commentators... so much so, that the mistaken usage of "flaunt" has become accepted by dictionaries as a second choice.

 

Ironically, it seems to me that the Anaconda Standard example of a girl moving her skirt in an emphatic manner was an instance where that writer should have used "flounce". His error has been used to justify myriad (I dare say) further erroneous uses of "flaunt".

 

To use all three F-words in one sentence, "the scandalous can-can dancers flounced their frilly skirts with their hands as they performed a rapid succession of high kicks, thus flaunting their lack of decorous underwear, while flouting local obscenity laws."

Secret ingredients matter, especially to individuals who have food allergies. As another aside, is anyone else bothered by all the pharmaceutical advertisements that do not display all their secret ingredients, but warn hapless potential consumers not to ingest or receive the miracle drug if they are allergic to any of the undisclosed ingredients?

 

The "flavor-is-not-the-same-as-flavored" issue is discussed by the legal bloggers of the Washington DC law firm Keller and Heckman LLP.

https://www.dailyintakeblog.com/2022/09/deceptive-advertising-lawsuit-targets-use-of-malic-acid/#page=1

"Plaintiff argued that the product should disclose that an artificial flavor is present (e.g., Artificially Flavored Sunflower Seeds)."

Malic acid does not get the legal bloggers' blood boiling as much as misleading claims, scams, and allegedly fake reviews concerning shelter, rental housing and the finding of room mates.

Lawyer and Partner Terri J. Seligman of Frankfurt Kurnit Klein and Selz PC (a boutique law firm in New York City that caters to the arts and entertainment communities) pens a very accessible and entertaining account of a common scam (where a would-be tenant is asked to send a deposit to rent an apartment sight unseen, with the promise that a key will be sent once the payment is banked) and also of an allegedly unscrupulous room-mate finder platform.

 

https://advertisinglaw.fkks.com/post/102hwj1/fake-reviews-in-ftc-and-state-crosshairs-again

"According to the complaint ..... Roomster “inundated the internet with tens of thousands of fake positive reviews to bolster their false claims that properties listed on their Roomster platform are real, available, and verified” and to drive traffic to the platform.....notwithstanding their own claims that they don’t buy reviews and the app stores’ prohibition in their terms of service on the use of fake reviews (not to mention legal prohibitions)...."

 

Editors Lori Kalani and Bernard Nash for the law firm Cozen O'Connor report on names and numbers in the suit that six state attorneys general pursued against Roomster for its misleading reviews and listings.

 

https://www.stateagreport.com/news/ftc-and-six-state-ags-sue-room-and-roomate-finder-site-roomster-for-misleading-reviews-listings/#page=1

 

 

Taking "misdirection" in another direction, you may have noticed that sites such as Kroger and Lowes do not allow you to clip digital coupns or view the merchandise. It seems more likely that they block your VPN than that your VPN seriously thinks that they are dangerous. I have no such issues with Plum Market and Home Depot.

I've also noticed some very creepy attempts by Amazon to hijack my searches (for instance on Wayfair, or a variety of plumbing products sites) and redirect me to shop on Amazon.

Which brings me to what the legal bloggers of Davis Wright Tremaine LLP call "dark patterns in advertising."

https://www.dwt.com/blogs/family-business-resource-center/2022/08/advertising-regulation-ftc-negative-option#page=1

The misdirection allegedly goes way beyond Fear-Of-Missing-Out wording (FOMO) such as, "Now or never." "Don't delay." "No-fee sign-up." "No registration required." "Free 30-day trial," that promise a risk-free, reasonably private deal, but entrap the unwary consumer into subscription or purchase, or recurring purchase that the consumer didn't see coming.

Worse, some dark pattern purveyors slip products and services into the consumer's virtual shopping cart that the consumer didn't order.  For a really thorough explanation of all the dark and dirty tricks that come under "Dark Patterns", follow the link.

All the best,

Rowena Cherry 

SPACE SNARK™  

http://www.spacesnark.com/  

http://www.rowenacherry.com

Karen S. Wiesner: Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5 Editing and Polishing Tricks & Tips

Writer's Craft Article

Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 5

Editing and Polishing Tricks and Tips

by Karen S. Wiesner

Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

In this three month, in-depth series, we're going to go over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.

In Part 4 of this series, we discussed editing and polishing. This time we'll go over editing and polishing tricks, which--over the course of the next several weeks--will include highly-focused tip sheets. 

Bernard Malamud said that he wrote each book at least three times: "Once to understand it, a second time to improve the prose, and a third time to compel it to say what it still must say." While I won't argue the sequential order of doing these things stated with a Pulitzer Prize–winning author, writers unquestionably do need to remove clutter to make a story understandable, to prevent tripping hazards caused by clumsy prose, and to infuse a story with vivid, interesting narration that says succinctly what it is the author wants it to say, concurrently bringing the whole story to life.

Putting on work clothes for the final step closer to your dream--where a story really comes into its own--you'll no doubt feel a sense of gratification, realizing your baby is almost ready to leave the relatively safe nest you've provided, hopefully to make you proud. Over the next several weeks, I'll provide some basic tricks in the form of tip sheets to help you with this process. We'll start with description.

Tip Sheet: Description

• Don't write character descriptions in a single block (i.e., for more than three sentences) at any point in the book. As Renni Browne and Dave King say in Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, "Your readers will find your story more engaging if they can meet your characters the way they meet people in real life: a little at a time. ..." Or, to put it another way, here's a gem from Tina Jens's "Such Horrible People" in On Writing Horror: "...don't drop chunks of your character sketch into the story like a brick into a fishbowl." Intersperse character description throughout a scene.

• Unless the main character is the only one who has point of view in the story, avoid putting a POV character in the embarrassing position of having to describe herself. Preferably, character descriptions should never be written from the same character's point of view (i.e., her own POV). More effectively, write them from other characters' POVs. Describing herself from her own POV, she'll either sound like she's going on and on about herself with every little detail of her looks, or she'll sound outright conceited. Of course if your story only has a single character POV without an omniscient narrator, you will have to write descriptions from her POV, but, again, these need to be interspersed carefully and used with the purpose of revealing the character's unique personality and emotions.

• Don't inundate the reader with the same descriptions over and over, such as of eye color, hair color, etc. Mention descriptions only once or twice each throughout an entire story. You might want to use these in moments of intense intimacy or within dialogue. In general, though, trust your reader to already have the fact stored away and used in the vision whenever a particular character is in a scene. As Dwight V. Swain says in Creating Characters: "Show how the character looks and acts, and then let your readers extract whatever feelings they wish from it."

This example of effective description from Sense and Sensibility, by Jane Austen, equally conveys personality:

Mrs. Jennings, Lady Middleton's mother, was a good-humoured, merry, fat, elderly woman, who walked a great deal, seemed very happy and rather vulgar. She was full of jokes and laughter, and before dinner was over had said many witty things on the subject of lovers and husbands, hoped they had not left their hearts behind them in Sussex, and pretended to see them blush whether they did or not.

• Descriptions are more than adjectives! Descriptions should never simply be adjectives tacked onto a person, place, or thing, such as in the following example of overdone description:

With a heavy sigh, he set down the black ceramic coffee mug, his green gaze settling heavily on the gilded clock ticking loudly against the familiar noises outside his solid oak office door.

When you reveal every last detail of your character and/or surroundings, as above, the reader--sure--can picture the scene, can even feel like she's right there...but she might not want to be now that you've hit her over the head with it. In the above paragraph, the reader does get a picture of the setting, the character, and the things around her. But it's the type of writing that calls attention to itself and thereby pulls the reader out of the story. Every writer's cardinal rule (and goal) should be to keep a reader reading.

Description can be turned into something vital to your story during your editing and polishing.

Next week, I'll present an editing and polishing tip sheet for dialogue.

Happy writing!

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Emotional Intelligence

Here's another self-help article that may offer useful suggestions for the writing life:

How to Control Thoughts and Emotions

The author, Justin Bariso, writes frequently on this topic, and his many online essays about emotional intelligence include a variety of "rules" and behavior patterns related to it. The article linked above, which appeared in our local newspaper last Sunday, lists five "rules of emotional intelligence."

The Blue Dolphin rule targets the bad habit of obsessively rehashing thoughts we'd prefer not to fixate on. It counteracts the familiar problem inherent in trying not to think of something, e.g., a white bear. The harder you attempt to banish that polar bear from your mind, the more persistently it looms. Instead, replace the unwanted thought with a different one, such as a blue dolphin.

The other rules deal with (1) Awkward Silence -- don't leap in with an answer to a tough question instantly, but take a long, thoughtful pause; (2) Scope -- before you start, define the details of a task, what's involved in it, and the amount of time and effort it will require, important for authors mapping out how much time they'll need to complete a writing project without rushing and getting overwhelmed; (3) the Diamond Cutter -- use critical feedback to transform the diamond-in-the-rough of your work into a polished gem (as in Karen's post last week); (4) Recentering -- "reaffirm your primary goals, values and key principles," in other words, in writing as in any endeavor, creative or otherwise, clearly set your priorities.

To me, these five principles focus more on cognitive than emotional habits, even though they're labeled "rules of emotional intelligence." As hinted by the title, they seem more like methods of managing one's thoughts and thus, maybe, controlling emotions as a byproduct.

Margaret L. Carter

Carter's Crypt

Quantity vs Quality

There once was a pilot, a situation comedy TV series, and a spin-off movie called, "Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width." 

 

That sounds like the start of a joke. I apologize for the lack of a punchline, but nostalgic anglophiles might like to read Ronnie Barker's biography for some superb jokes and thought-provoking philosophy... which is an absolute non-sequitur, because, as far as I can tell, Ronnie Barker had nothing to do with "Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width."

"NMTQ,FTW" was about the clothing trade in Britain, in which two tailors, one an Irish Catholic, and the other Jewish who set up shop together in the East End. Situational hilarity ensued. The title of their work became a byword (or by-sentence) for valuing quantity over quality.

 

The same (Never mind the quality...) preference applies to copyright infringers and their defenders. There is a common perception, perhaps reinforced by this case, that as long as an excerpt lifted from a copyright-protected work is a fraction of the work, copying is "fair use". 

Legal blogger Jim Astrachan provides a fresh perspective for the law firm Goodell, DeVries, Leech & Dann LLP in discussing a case of when a relatively small excerpt of 400 words from a 7,500-word memoir might give away the plot and all the juicy bits, hook-line-and-sinker (to turn a phrase).

 

Jim Astrachan's hook is a remarkable quote from Judge Learned Hand.

“…no plagiarist can excuse the wrong by showing how much of his work he did not pirate.”

 

IP Law link:

https://iplawblogs.com/copyright-fair-use-how-much-copying-is-too-much-copying/#page=1

 

For more quotes from the Judge:

https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/learned-hand-quotes

 

Another new-to-me law firm, O'Hagan Meyer PLLC provides an update on a topic I have dealt with before, the copyright status of those small but intensely interesting floor plans that realtors and others tend to display online to assist potential buyers in evaluating their interest in homes for sale or rent.

O'Hagan Meyer link:

https://ohaganmeyer.com/2022/06/29/u-s-supreme-court-declines-review-of-case-holding-that-floor-plans-are-entitled-to-copyright-protection/

Credits to Dana J. Finberg,  Stephan F. Andrews, and Timothy R. Evanson for what might be a warning to real estate professsionals.

All the best,

Rowena Cherry

Karen S. Wiesner: Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 4 Editing and Polishing

Writer's Craft Article

Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 4

Editing and Polishing

by Karen S. Wiesner

Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

In this three month, in-depth series, we're going to go over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.

In Part 3 of this series, we discussed involving critique partners and setting aside the book. This time we'll go over editing and polishing. 

Uncovering the Diamond in the Rough

Everyone knows that "a diamond in the rough" is a metaphor referring to the original unpolished state of diamond gemstones, especially those that have the potential to become high-quality jewels. Most stories are rough diamonds at this stage. Someone who works in a diamond mine or designs jewelry will get as excited at the sight of a rough, potentially perfect diamond as someone who loves to wear expensive jewelry will over a fine cut diamond. In their mind's eye, these experts can already see the finished, faceted jewel that will emerge when the gemstone is put through the steps of cutting and polishing.

Editing and polishing are a lot like the process of turning a rough gemstone into a finished one. You're cutting the bad, replacing it with the good, and polishing up what remains until it shines. This is a final step in publication of a book.

What most writers call revising is actually just editing and polishing. Writers get excited about their stories at nearly every stage, since they have a picture in their mind’s eye of what will emerge. A writer unquestionably does also need to remove clutter to make a story understandable, to prevent tripping hazards caused by clumsy prose, and to infuse a story with vivid, interesting narration that says succinctly what it is he wants it to say, concurrently bringing the whole story to life. Editing and polishing add a very definite extra layer to your story. Without it, your story probably won’t read smoothly, nor will it shine.

The process of editing and polishing can also involve any or all of the following:

·       The "editing" portion of this task can be called copyediting in publishing circles and entails the correction and enhancement of grammar, vocabulary, and punctuation details.

·       Ensuring a completeness of three-dimensionality in character, plot, and setting

·       Rearranging sentences or paragraphs

·       Showing (more frequently) and telling (at times), where these are most needed

·       Tightening sentences and individual words (such as changing passive to active and dull to impacting; cleaning up repetitiveness)

·       Smoothing out roughness and making your writing more natural or interesting

·       Punching up tension and suspense

·       Ensuring variation in sentence construction and length

·       Diversifying and enriching words

Editing and polishing should be almost as simple as reading through the manuscript and making minor adjustments that allow the words to flow like music to the ear. A solid outline followed by a first draft virtually ensures that. I do usually complete this step quickly--within a day (or two) once I take it out for this purpose. The difference between revising and editing and polish is generally in the amount of work I do for each. With a revision, there's always more to do, so I need three days to a week to focus on fixing everything. For editing and polishing, I may only mark or fix something every few pages. Also, though I haven't been away from the story quite as long as I did in the previous setting aside, I tend to not want to put the book down during this stage. There's total immersion of myself into the story in this stage, the way the amount of work I needed to do previously didn't allow.

Again, this is something I used to do on a printed manuscript, but, as I get older, I prefer to do less work and that means completing this step directly in the story file on my computer so I don't have to spend hours after I'm done editing and polishing just making corrections to the computer file. I generally add another 5- to 10,000 words to the story in this process--again, another pivotal layer.

In the more than twenty years I’ve been steadily selling books to publishers, writing the book has become the easy part of the whole production process. For the most part, my first drafts have been final drafts, requiring minimal revision; usually a final edit and polish completes the job. Most of my editorial revisions are basic, commonsense suggestions to refine word usage and smooth out the flow of sentences. I’ve been very fortunate to regularly enjoy five-star reviews and a warm reception from readers, so I trust my process.

Next week, we'll go over editing and polishing tricks along with a slew of highly-focused tip sheets.

Happy writing!

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Fiction About Creating Fiction

This week I watched the Fred Astaire musical THE BAND WAGON. The plot (such as it is) revolves around a lighthearted musical play the Fred Astaire character's two best friends have written for him as a comeback vehicle. The famous director who's persuaded to take charge of the production insists they rewrite the story as a contemporary, avant-garde musical adaptation of FAUST. When the opening performance proves to be a spectacular flop, the cast and crew remake the play according to the original script. So this movie is a musical about the making of two musicals.

KISS ME, KATE is another well-known example of a film about producing a play. Many others appear in the list on the TV Tropes page titled "The Musical Musical":

The Musical Musical

Of course, the device of a play within a play goes back to Shakespeare, if not earlier. In A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM, the workmen of the city put on a play about Pyramus and Thisbe, meant as a movingly tragic drama but turning into a farce. Hamlet writes a revenge drama for the visiting actors to perform in an attempt to expose his murderous uncle and even lectures them on acting techniques.

Then there are films and TV series such as WANDAVISION and PLEASANTVILLE, in which the protagonist is trapped inside a TV show or movie come to life.

Novels about writing books are not uncommon, also. One obvious example is Stephen King's MISERY, in which the villainess forces the author of her favorite series to compose a sequel restoring the supposedly dead heroine to life.

Such stories can go either way in terms of the relation of the embedded fiction to the main plot. In MISERY, the melodramatic historical novel the author writes during his captivity contrasts sharply with his own desperate plight; the process of creation offers temporary escape. In HAMLET, the content and theme of the play within a play deliberately echo the situation at Elsinore.

Do authors create stories like this mainly because, as labeled on TV Tropes, "Most writers are writers," and we tend to "write what we know"?

Most Writers Are Writers

Or are there deeper reasons why many people enjoy metafictional fiction?

Margaret L. Carter

Carter's Crypt

Indecency?

"There's a hole... I must look into it!" is a play on words that is apparently so old that it does not turn up on the first page of a reputable, almost omniscient search engine's results.

The finding that cropped up most plentiously was, "There's a hole in my bucket," which I heartily recommend to anyone dealing with small children, teenagers, or aging loved ones.

"There's a hole... I must look into it!" is the sort of joke best told in a funny voice by a man with a mobile eyebrow and wearing a well-worn raincoat, who might be a very thorough detective, or a sex addict. 

So much for indecency.

Now to Decency, as in the Communications Decency Act, (Protection for private blocking and screening of offensive material.)

Here is a very tiny permissionless excerpt from an excellent Ivy League law school publication on the matter. (I could have credited Cornell, there, but I went for alliteration.)

(c) Protection for “Good Samaritan” blocking and screening of offensive material

(1) Treatment of publisher or speaker

No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider.

(2) Civil liabilityNo provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be held liable on account of—

(A)

any action voluntarily taken in good faith to restrict access to or availability of material that the provider or user considers to be obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent, harassing, or otherwise objectionable, whether or not such material is constitutionally protected; or

(B)

any action taken to enable or make available to information content providers or others the technical means to restrict access to material described in paragraph (1).

How interesting that they bring Good Samaritans into the topic! There is a hole in that logic, but I will not go into it! 

Legal blogger Robert B. Nussbaum Esquire of the Saiber law firm's Trending Law Blog appears to suggest that Decency is under assault with his title "Section 230 Dodges Another Judicial Bullet."

In a nutshell (nussbaum is German for "nut tree"), there are some politicians who would like to revise the so-called "Good Samaritan" immunity protections (probably tautologous of me) that are currently enjoyed by internet platforms when they host or display indecent material that is uploaded or created by third parties.

Personally, I have to wonder, what is not third party content? At least when it comes to a social media site such as Facebook.

The "bullet" or case under discussion, is one of a private individual who did not succeed in a suit against Facebook for its hosting of a sex predator.

One Supreme Court justice's opinion is well worth reading. He ruled on the law as it is written, and not, perhaps, as he thinks it should be.

https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/21pdf/21-459_6k47.pdf

It would be stretching literary license to wonder whether there's a bullet hole in the legal bucket. I only do so for a hook upon which to hang the literary device of apophasis. Additionally, as a copyright enthusiast, I hope that the grim-faced actor with the rubber glove gets royalties for that edifying apophasis meme shot!

Here's a parting link: 

https://blog.prepscholar.com/list-of-literary-devices-techniques

All the best,

Rowena Cherry 

SPACE SNARK™  

http://www.spacesnark.com/  

http://www.rowenacherry.com

Karen S. Wiesner: Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 3 Involving Critique Partners and Setting the Final Draft Aside

Writer's Craft Article

Fiction Fundamentals: Writing Elbow Grease, Part 3

Involving Critique Partners and Setting the Final Draft Aside

by Karen S. Wiesner

Based on Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2: 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

In this three month, in-depth series, we're going to go over what could be considered the grunge work in building a cohesive story. Revising, editing, and polishing require a little or a lot of writing elbow grease to finish the job and bring forth a strong and beautiful book.

In Part 2 of this series, we discussed the revision part of the process. This time we'll go over involving critique partners and setting the final draft aside. 

STAGE 2: INVOLVING CRITIQUE PARTNERS

Everyone knows writers can get too close to their own work. It's an occupational hazard. While you may feel that you've got a story beyond compare, it may need a little more work and you simply can't see it. That's why it's so important now to turn your beloved opus over to a trusted spouse, friend, or, preferably, a critique partner (or three) for a critical read. The opinion of others is very important. You're not ready to send that book out to a publisher/editor or agent until you've had enough reader reactions to judge the strength of your accomplishment.

I highly recommend that you give yourself this time to digest the comments a critique partner made about your beloved baby, too. At this stage, your desire may be to haul off and lay her out flat. Don't do it! After you've initially read her comments, send her this note without any embellishments: "Thanks for all the work you put into critiquing my story. I'll get back to you in a few weeks if I have any questions or comments about your evaluation." Then folder-up that project again with her comments. Put it away in your story cupboard and do something else. I guarantee that her comments, if left on a low backburner in your mind, will do their work. When you return for the final editing and polishing, hopefully for the last time before you begin submitting to publishers/editors or agents, you might even agree with your friend on several points. You'll also feel better about everything, and you'll be able to evaluate, unbiased, what needs to be done to shine up that book.

STAGE 3: SETTING THE FINAL DRAFT ASIDE

Letting your projects sit, out of sight and out of mind, for a couple weeks--or even months--in-between stages will provide you with a completely fresh perspective. Distance gives you objectivity and the ability to read your own work so you can progress further with it, adding more and more layers and dimensions to your characters, plots and settings. Another reason for setting projects aside between stages is that writers may reach a point where their motivation runs out, and they want to get away from the story as fast as they can. Sometimes the author may not feel inspired to write a book he's just spent weeks or even months outlining, or revise something he's spent weeks or months writing.

Setting a project aside between the various stages the project goes through also allows your creativity to be at its peak. The process becomes easier, too, and your writing will be the best it can be. Putting a WIP on a back burner for an extended period of time will allow you to see more of the connections that make a story multidimensional.

To set your project aside between stages, return everything to your story folder. For as long as you possibly can, put this book on a shelf and keep it on the backburner in your mind. Get to work on something else so you won’t concentrate too much on this project and it becomes the center of your attention again.

In the introduction to this series, I mentioned that Stephen King calls this a “recuperation time”, and it really is that, considering the blood, sweat and tears you’ve expended thus far (half-done in the writing in stages process!). When you take the manuscript down again to begin revisions, followed by editing and polishing, “you’ll find reading your book over after a…layoff to be a strange, often exhilarating experience. It’s yours, you’ll recognize it as yours…and yet it will also be like reading the work of someone else. …This is the way it should be, the reason you waited…”

As a general rule, every book I write gets a few months between stages, and I really need the break from each project. I can't imagine going through all the steps in finishing a book back-to-back. I get so sick of a story when one stage carries into the next without pause, I can no longer see whether anything I'm doing is improving or ruining. When one stage of a WIP is done, I'm eager to get away from it. Many times I leave a stage certain the whole thing is fit only for burning in the nearest fireplace, but, when I come back to it months later, I discover that all my hard work previously was well-worth the effort. The layers of the story are building up beautifully into something I know will be even better when it's finally done.

The basic reason for any shelf-time for a project is obvious: You just finished one big stage, you’d have to be insane to want to read the book again right after you just finished going over it from start to finish yet again. You’ll have gained no distance from it if you jump directly into the next stage at this point. So give yourself another few weeks or more if your deadlines allow before moving on.

One other thing I alluded to earlier is not wanting to get burned out when it comes to any specific project. When writers say they’re burned out, they mean they’ve been working too much and not taking the time off to refresh themselves and keep their creative energy flowing. (This is completely different from writer’s block, which can stem from situations like a story not ready to be worked on, not enough brainstorming or inspiration, or sheer laziness usually attributed to a fickle muse.) This is especially true if you're working on the same project, doing all these stages back-to-back, without taking a break from the same project specifically or from work in general. You bring back your own love for a project each time you set it aside and then come back to it fresh. Don't underestimate the importance of doing that. You and your stories will suffer for it eventually if back-to-back stages becomes a habit.

There's another reason for avoiding burnout whenever you can. The soil in your brain is like the soil farmers sow crops in. It needs rest and rotation (writing in stages, for the author) in order to become fertile and nutrient-rich again. I strong suggested working up yearly goals prior to every new year. On this sheet, you're not only deciding what you’re going to be working on during that year, but you should also be planning your breaks from writing. If taking weekends off doesn’t refresh you, take a week, weeks or even a month off during the year. Read, watch movies, relax, and re-energize your creativity. (This doesn't mean you can't be brainstorming or researching for upcoming projects during this time.) By the time your vacation is up, you’ll be raring to go on your next writing project. Take your scheduled vacations when you’ve planned them unless something wonderful happens (an editor contracts a series from you, you're asked to write a screenplay of your book; you fill in the blank for your own idea of wonderful) in your career or life, and you can’t let the opportunity pass you by. As soon as that thing is finished, take the vacation you planned. Reward yourself by allowing your creative soil to become fertile again.

You might be wondering how many times you can set your book aside before it goes to an editor. I suggest you set it aside for a few months after the outline is complete (before you begin writing the book) as well as after the first draft is done and, of course, before you begin revising. I also suggest you set it aside again after the critical reads and before you complete final editing and polishing and send it off to a publisher/editor or agent. As with a good wine or cheese, the more shelf-time you give each book, the stronger it'll be--and the better for you to see your story clearly, my dears.

Next week, we'll go over Stage 4: Editing and Polishing.

Happy writing!

Karen S. Wiesner is the author of Cohesive Story Building, Volume 2 of the 3D Fiction Fundamentals Collection

http://www.writers-exchange.com/3d-fiction-fundamentals-series/

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/writing-reference-titles.html

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor