Reflections of Life, Part 3 by Karen S. Wiesner

                                          

Reflections of  Life, Part 3

by Karen S. Wiesner

In looking back over the course of my life as an author who's looking forward to becoming an artist in retirement, I've learned to slow down and reflect on the past, savor the present, and look forward to the future. Interspersed through these ruminations, I'll include some of my own most apropos sketches.

In Part 2, I discussed what it took to bring about change in the crash and burn lifestyle that dominated most of my adult life. On a daily basis, I began to sense the gentle nudge that led to the restructuring and reallocating of my energy and ease in juggling multiple projects at once. However, I can't move forward with this reflective essay without adding that the years of COVID hell were strong contributors to what truly seemed like the mighty falling and the dwindling effectiveness of my previously relished Super Powers. Like many other authors who struggled to produce anything salable during those aghast (in this context, an odd but fitting word) years, I produced next to nothing until at last light again penetrated the emotional void of my blackest period of existence. I saw distinct changes in my writing, from the quantity I was capable of producing right on down to the quality of the material. Some of these changes were for the better, others most certainly for the worse.

Ultimately, I came to the point where the only way to cope with my drastically altered form was to say "It is what it is", and move forward the best way I could. I had to learn to accept the new me, which most days seemed like a weaker, pitifully lessened, shell of myself. What came next was the aftermath of battles fought and lessons learned.

Karen Wiesner Sketch: Innocence Light and Dark

I went through the projects I'd once upon a time fully anticipated completing during my lifetime and evaluated whether I would or even could complete them after all. I started with the ones I'd already faced issues with in attempting to outline. In the course of my career, I'd realized that if I could finish an outline for a story, I would be able to write the book to my satisfaction. The first step was to remove those uncertain projects from the "To Be" list. A huge chunk of wannabe books fell by the wayside in this endeavor. On the plus side, I was able to finish within the next year two of the four series I had left to complete.

I also started gathering backup against having to endure further revision nightmares. I wanted to ensure as far as I possibly could that the body of material I submitted to the publisher I intended to keep for the rest of my career was as solid and flawless as I could make it. Over the years before my crisis, I'd begun to forsake critique partners for two very distinct reasons. The first reason is practicality. Simply put, I wrote too much and too fast to ask any critique partner or even a whole team of them to do so much for me. I think a crew, each member taking on a full-time job with handling even just a few of my books at a time, would have been required through most of my career. I did have a variety of critique partners, most of the time more than one, all put on different projects, but eventually it became harder to find ones I really trusted and believed were equal to the task. (I apologize if that sounds conceited, but…yeah, being practical, that was the way things stood.)

My second reason for not having critique partners for every single project was exactly what you may have guessed from that last paragraph: I got big-headed enough to assume in those later years before my crisis that I didn't need any helping making the majority of my books better and stronger. I thought I could do it completely on my own. Live and learn, but I have now found one single reliable critique partner that I'd worked with on and off in the past. I trusted her implicitly then, and even more so now that I find my once honed and sharp editorial skills becoming a bit more lax than even I'm comfortable with. Since my output has also been diminishing rapidly in these crisis years, I hoped I wouldn't overwhelm her with critique projects. I admit I definitely would have done that if not for the fact that the pipeline of my book releases has become hopelessly clogged during this time, stopping almost altogether in the course of the last five years as my only publisher has taken to renovating her entire backlist of books with new cover designs, fresh formatting, and updated promotion.

Next week I'll go over other strategies I implemented to restructure my life to bring better balance.

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Reflections of Life, Part 2 by Karen S. Wiesner

Reflections of Life, Part 2

by Karen S. Wiesner

In looking back over the course of my life as an author who's looking forward to becoming an artist in retirement, I've learned to slow down and reflect on the past, savor the present, and look forward to the future. Interspersed through these ruminations, I'll include some of my own most apropos sketches.

In Part 1 of this article, I talked about feeling directed to find a better balance in my life. One of the first things required in order to bring about very necessary changes in my crash and burn lifestyle was the crushing of my ego. I've spoken before in my writings of the worst experience I've ever had with editing a project. Specifically, when I completed my Arrow of Time Chronicles (a massive science fiction saga) over the course of two intense years, I truly felt that I'd written my pièce de résistance. I believed it was the best thing I'd ever written up to that point. I was on top of the world. I couldn't wait to have my masterpiece published and in the hands of my readers. The editing process took place over the course of several months as all four books were released back to back.

As a little background to ensure full understanding before I continue, in the span of my writing career, I've written for at least 25 different publishers big and small, at first because it was the only way to get my horde of books out to the world as quickly as possible, considering how fast I wrote. Following a few years of the worst luck possible with some of my publishers who, frankly, "did me wrong", I decided to place all my books with a single publisher, the only one at that time I actually trusted, and still do. One after the other and sometimes in huge batches, I pulled my books from my other publishers, revised and reformatted each of them, and gave them to this one publisher, who, initially, reissued the majority of them very quickly, all while also publishing my brand new works.

From my very first book published in June 1997 to the one just before Arrow of Time Chronicles, the revisions handed down to me from any of my numerous editors had been mild up to this point, amounting to a few typos needing correction or sentences that required reworking for clarity with each book. With my first two writing reference books, editors wanted me to add certain sections, which meant drafting new material to coincide with a feature they wanted to see displayed in the manuals. All told, none of this was serious. Structurally, from the start of my career, all my books were solid and polished even before I submitted them. I possessed the editorial skills to make them so.

To this day, I'm not a hundred percent sure why this particular project caused such a rift between me and my publisher (who was also my editor for all my submissions). Even after the arduous, soul-tearing editing was completed, I still believed the four books in Arrow of Time Chronicles were some of my best to date. The agony I suffered through four excruciating times with each of the books in that series decimated me in ways I couldn't have previously imagined, given my editing history. I left the process limping and bleeding each time, my spirit ground to ash. My confidence took such a violent blow, I never wanted to write again because it meant inviting further attacks that would surely come during editing. While I couldn't and wouldn't do anything as drastic as quitting writing, all the spinoff books I'd planned to write in the Arrow of Time universe, once the four-book set was published, were summarily canceled. I couldn't take the risk that this series had been the cause of the damage that wreaked havoc between me and my publisher.

Karen Wiesner Sketch: Agony

As I said, I didn't quit writing altogether, but I did know I needed and wanted to make changes. In the span of my career, I've started 16 series, varying in length from three to twenty-three books in each. At that time, all but four of the series had been finished previous to this crisis. There was no way I could abandon those final four series without providing satisfactory resolutions. 

Over the next two years, I worked hard rebuilding my relationship with my editor, who was my only publisher now. While I can't take full blame for the problems between us, I know I did my share of harm. Chief among my issues was that my ego and (what seems like now) certainty that my every word was golden needed to be checked with humility and the willingness to compromise. These two lessons were hard fought battles for me, both internally and externally. In the process of learning them, I also undertook the heart-rending job of culling my list of upcoming projects.

Next week I'll talk about what brought about the strong sense that I needed to slow down.

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Reflections of Life, Part 1 by Karen S. Wiesner

Reflections of Life, Part 1

by Karen S. Wiesner

In looking back over the course of my life as an author who's looking forward to becoming an artist in retirement, I've learned to slow down and reflect on the past, savor the present, and look forward to the future. Interspersed through these ruminations, I'll include some of my own most apropos sketches.

For the last several years, I've felt directed toward finding a better balance in my life. There's no denying I've spent most of my time on this earth cultivating a crash and burn lifestyle--in my work and "play" activities. Those who know me would agree that I can only be described as a person who gets things done (emphasis and attitude in that phrase, please). In all honestly, I took great pride in my accomplishments at many points in my life before I was laid low. You will see that--and even some smugness--reflected in these reminiscences. I apologize and ask for you to indulge me just this once, as this is something of a capsulation of my entire life, and I have little more to show for myself than these brief achievements. I'm forever reminded of the countless, plentiful desert periods in my life when I was absolutely certain I was a fraud without a speck of talent, natural or otherwise. Those by far supersede any glimpse of self-worth.

In any case, during my "leisure", I've been known to read in excess of 400 books in a single year. Yes, you read that right, and, yes, I know there are only 365 days in a year. In my work, which has been writing (professionally for the last 26 years) I've actually been compared to a computer. Only that accurately describes how quickly I process and perform my tasks. Whereas most writers can finish a novel or two a year and rare ones can produce one or two more than that, I've spent the majority of my career completing at least five full-length novels (ranging from 60,000 to 100,000 words plus) and five novellas (nearly all close to 40,000 words long) every single year.

If I had to be honest, I'd admit that I barely broke a sweat most of the time I was accomplishing these feats. In fact, reading and writing books was only part of what I was doing at any given time. Along with writing books, every year I made promotion of my published works a full-time job, along with leading a few writers' groups in which I coordinated numerous endeavors. I also wrote countless freelance assignments for many magazines, cranked out weekly or monthly columns for various publications, wrote blurbs, and critiqued and edited the material of other authors, as well as designed covers for my books and those of fellow authors.

Karen Wiesner Sketch: Still Life with Books

My secret: Early in my writing, I formulated an approach to writing that I've documented step by step in my reference titles. This technique allowed me to "work in stages" and accomplish so much more than I would have if I'd written each book from start to finish, back to back, one at a time. Essentially, I was always writing multiple books at a time, each in distinct stages of the writing process. For the most part, that technique ensured that I avoided burnout altogether. More accurately, I was able to sidestep it, provided I gave myself at least three vacations a year, each lasting 2-3 weeks long and forcing me to curtail all writing activities during them.

As long as I took those vacations as prescribed, I could indefinitely juggle the heavy workloads I assigned myself the rest of the year. Most often, I indulged in my favorite pastimes during my recuperation times: Reading and playing videogames. Here, too, I hit it hard. As befitting a crash and burn personality like mine, I would spend most of my waking hours, staying up late, playing a game or series of games or plowing through a shocking amount of books from my To Be Read mountain. This was the only way I was able to cope with the stress of just how much I was accomplishing in a year's time. Mind you, if I took my vacations when I needed to, for as much time as I needed to, I barely felt the weight of my work at all other times. In these 26 years, my running tally is 146 books published, 152 books written, and, incidentally, nearly 130 awards nominated for or won. This is the testament to my dedication in accomplishing all my writing goals.

As anyone can imagine, breaking this lifelong habit of crash and burn was nearly impossible. As I said at the start of this essay, I've felt myself being directed and redirected, gently, sometimes almost imperceptibly, for years. It wasn't a lesson I learned all at once, but it is one I had to relearn countless times it really stuck.  Many sentiments fit how it felt to be taught something I assumed I'd mastered only to fall back into the same bad habits that are seemingly my own unique factory resets: Embarrassment, amusement, frustration, bewilderment, even shock at my own ignorance and blindness as to what's happened to bring me back to square one.

It's unfortunate that, to get me to the point where I even agreed to submission in the first place, I had to be broken and re-broken. Strangely, I've come to enjoy (in some ways, at least) the slow-down--I, who once considered herself with no small amount of pride, the Mighty One with Super Powers.

Next week I'll talk about what it took to bring about change in the crash and burn lifestyle that dominated most of my adult life.

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Details of Life by Karen S. Wiesner

Details of Life

by Karen S. Wiesner

In this article, I talk about changing your perspective from the negative to the positive when writing an obituary for yourself or for a loved one who's still alive.

Last summer, after we'd all finally come through the COVID crisis worse for wear but still kicking, my family went through a heartrending trauma that (thankfully) was resolved over the course of just a couple days. Even still, once it was finally concluded, none of us could easily go back to our normal lives without feeling haunted for months afterward by it. If a situation that harrowing could actually lead to anything good, if nothing else, it did spur us to get our future financial, medical, legal, and end-of-life "ducks in a row". Those in my family who'd played a role in the event realized that the absolute worst time to focus on these crucial things was literally at the end of our lives.

Over the course of the next several months, my husband and I and our other close relatives filled out all kinds of forms that we'd never taken the time to realize, let alone understand, could be necessary sooner rather than later. These things were filed with the appropriate agencies and copies were given to everyone relevant. More than once we wondered, if we'd done these things sooner, would we have had to go through what we did at all? There is no good answer to such a question.

At the beginning of this year, our local library gave a program called "What To Do Before You Die". While we were fairly confident we'd adequately prepared for the future, we figured it couldn't hurt to make sure. We signed up and convinced some friends to join us. For this program, the library director had gathered an interesting pool of local resources: the County Register of Deeds, a local funeral director, a flag pole and monument business, the local cemetery caretaker, an estate planning lawyer, and the County Veteran Service officer.

Although we'd planned and prepared well, we discovered over the course of the several hours this seminar took place that there were a few considerations we'd missed, allowing us to become even more organized for the future. To cap the highly useful agenda, there were several knowledgeable souls on hand to talk about obituary writing. Those leading the discussion advised writing your own "death details" in advance to make the process much easier for those this task would otherwise fall to once you were gone. I was actually the one who raised my hand during this and suggested not only doing this for yourself but for elderly relatives who were still with you. I'd wanted to write this information down for my parents since I was very sure at that point I would need to ask them numerous questions in order to find the answers needed to complete the forms.

This was something I've had on my checklist to do since the traumatizing incident last summer and the library program earlier this year but hadn't gotten around to yet because 1) given its ties to genealogy, it could end up being a tremendous amount of work, and 2) there's something very uncomfortable, morbid even, about writing an obituary for yourself let alone one for a loved one who's still alive.

Merely looking up the definition of obituary in the dictionary gave me pause:

1. a notice of a death, especially in a newspaper, typically including a brief biography of the deceased person.

Similar words to "obituary" in the dictionary are eulogy (a speech or piece of writing that praises someone or something highly, typically someone who has just died), necrology (an obituary notice, a list of deaths), death notice, and necrologue (a published announcement of a death, usually with a short biography of the dead person).

Alas, I kept this unpleasant task on my to-do list, regardless of how disconcerting the idea of undertaking it was to me. When it finally came up in my rotation, I did an internet search with the words "obituary form". I looked at a few and eventually found something that had most of what I wanted. After some brainstorming with relatives, we were able to cull the form contents to what we thought were the best things to include. Once completed, the blank form was hardly more than a single page long.

Still, I was having trouble getting started for the same reasons as before. Filling out an obituary form for myself and family members still living was the height of "not fun". Additionally, I would have to broach the subject with my parents, and that seemed disturbing as well. "Look what I have here, Mom and Dad! Your death notices, all ready to publish!" No, that was even worse than simply doing it on my own and tactfully asking them questions I needed answers to in order to complete the form. While I was hemming and hawing about setting a date to do this work, it occurred to me that maybe I was going about the process all wrong.

The day came for me to sit down and fill out the form. Instead of labeling each individual's form an "Obituary" or "Death Details", I called it a "Details of Life" form. My perspective immediately changed with the revision that made all the difference. Yes, there was a whole lot of genealogy stuff that did bog me down, though I'd done a lot of work in that regard in years past. None of it was particularly organized, so locating and locking down specifics with accurate information was a bit of a trek. But even that was kind of fun as I learned and re-learned new things about the family.

Additionally, I found reminiscing about the past a lot of fun. I spent most of two days getting the new, compelling "Details of Life" filled in section by section for myself, my husband, and both of my parents. When I talked to my parents, it wasn't concerning the unpalatable things like "surviving family members or those who preceded in death" (those things, including a death date can be added later, when they're needed). We covered specific details about their lives that I'd either been told in the past and forgotten because I hadn't written them down before or that I'd unfathomably just never known about them.

Everything on this form, once completed, was something I would need to know to fill out a formal death notice and announcement eventually. In the meantime, it was a concise summary of the details of a life that I cherished and was profoundly grateful to know and share.

I've included a copy of my Details of Life form below, or you can find a PDF of it here:  

https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/uploads/2/3/5/5/23554234/details_of_life_form.pdf

Celebrate life today while it's still today.

Details of Life

Name (full, including maiden and married names, and any nicknames):

All cities/states lived:

Location:
Approximate ages/years lived there:
Other details:

Date of birth:

Interesting stories of birth:

Place of birth and details:

Father (name, birth/death, cause of death, burial place, vocation, details):

Mother (include maiden name, birth/death, cause of death, burial place, vocation, details):

How did your parents meet?

Name of spouse (include maiden name):

How the person of focus on this form met his or her spouse:

Marriage date:

Your age:

How long you knew each other prior to marriage:

Place of marriage (city/state):

Ceremony information (church, city hall, etc.):

Wedding details

Wore:

Reception location

Witnesses/Maid of Honor/Best Man:

Honeymoon date/location:

Names of children (could include birth/death, vocation):

Education (name/location of school, year graduated, focus of study, degree received):

Employment history: (business/locations, position title and description)

Military service (branch, boot camp location, years of service, places stationed, type(s) of work done):

Hobbies/interests:

Memory(ies) growing up and/or memorable one(s) of your life: 

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/ 

Taking the Bucket Out of the Bucket List, Part 2 by Karen S. Wiesner

Taking the Bucket Out of the Bucket List,
Part 2
by Karen S. Wiesner

In this final of a two part article, I discuss the wisdom and benefits of, and strategies for, drawing up a personal bucket list as early as possible--long before the curtain of a life is drawn.

Thanks for my fellow blog mates Rowena and Margaret for inspiring this impromptu article with their suggestions for potential topics I could cover on Alien Romances. Also thanks to those who critiqued this article for their suggested improvements and enthusiasm before it was posted.

Last week we went over what a bucket list is, and I discussed my own realizations of wanting to achieve my most desired goals early enough in life to enjoy them throughout all the days of my life that followed. Let's continue with actual strategies for forging ahead.

Taking the Next Step--Are You Ready?

Coming up with a formal or informal bucket list as early in life as possible will help anyone focus their time and energies in areas they're already passionate about as well as provide excitement, inspiration, and the push toward finding purpose and a sense of accomplishment long before the curtain of a life is drawn.

While I was working on this article, I was asked a couple questions that are worth considering on your own as you consider whether you're ready to take the bull by the horns yourself.

Had I been making bucket lists since my twenties, or did I just start making them recently? All things considered, I’d have to conclude I’ve actually been making them mentally since I was 20 and I just never really considered that was what I was doing all this time.

Would I have benefited in my twenties by formally writing my goals down? Have I benefited now for writing them down versus just thinking about my plans in my head? I suppose the blanket answer to these two questions that feed into each other is about the same: It might have benefited me to formally write down my bucket list goals at any point; however, I’ve always had a mind like a relentless robot seeking out all the dark corners of my own soul. For me, it didn’t really make a huge difference to officially spell out my goals for myself. What you've seen presented in this article is what I saw in my head from the beginning. That said, I think most people probably will benefit greatly from actually make their bucket lists formal plans with loose or definitive goals.

I have several pieces of advice to those wanting to forge ahead into a life lived with purpose:

A.     Choose wisely. You don't have to feel like you're required to have a certain number of goals on your list. I have four, which is a nice, even number, but if you only ever have one, that's fine. You can add to it if you want to (no pressure) at any time as you complete or become proficient at priority items. This thing isn't set in stone, nor should it be. If you discover one of your wishes isn't really something you like after all, well, you've learned something about yourself you didn't know before, right? That said, you do want to include on this list only things that you're strongly zealous about and are deeply committed to fulfilling. This is another reason why limiting the list is advisable. There's no point in having a checklist of this kind that includes a bunch of things you're not serious enough to actually make deliberate preparations in undertaking. I don't think anyone needs another random to-do list lying around collecting dust.

B.     Prioritize your bucket list in the order of the things you want to accomplish first and last, and don't try to take on the whole list at once. That's a recipe for failure. Start with the top one, the most important to you, and make a serious go of completing and/or developing it over time, perhaps even years. Make this part of your daily or weekly life. The whole reason for doing this long in advance of having an actual deadline (especially one as final as death!) is to accomplish things you enjoy and may spend the rest of your life taking pleasure in and cultivating. In many cases, the items on your list will require an investment: Of time, discipline, energy, money, and frequently all of the above. Trust me, you're embarking on a labor of love with any one of these.

C.     Make a plan for how to go about fulfilling the items on your bucket list, one at a time. Set goals over time so you're doing something toward making the wish reality. Make a commitment to forging ahead with your goals. Start small, if you need to, and make initially small investments of time, energy, and finances. Work into the passion that can motivate you to keep going bigger and better. I know a lot of people can't think of long-term projects that require large investments of time, energy, or money because their lives are busy, complicated, and/or they're financially unable. In those situations, creativity may be needed to get started. Devote just five, ten, fifteen minutes--whatever you can eke out every day or once a week to advance your project. Take free classes at your local library or online. Ask close friends and family to gift you with an item you need for a birthday or Christmas. Small, slow, and frugal can produce results eventually, too!

D.     Define your reasons for what you hope to accomplish with each item on your bucket list if for no other reason than that you set yourself on a path toward seeing where it's going, or where it could be going. I wanted to understand my motivations clearly from the start, whether I intended to advance in these areas for individual edification or for something more--such as, my drawing could potentially lead to an exciting new career for me in the future.

E.     Only you can decide if your pursuits are worthwhile. Don't let yourself or anyone else tell you that something you've chosen to do isn't meaningful or significant. The goal of personal development is valuable--whatever your chosen aspiration. At the very least, anything you achieve is one regret you'll never have to feel.

Nearly three decades after I started pursuing the wishes on my informal bucket list, I find myself realizing that as I look back over what I've managed to accomplish, I'm satisfied. If my time in this world ended tomorrow, I would feel as though I lived with purpose and that I'd accomplished something worthwhile. Instead of waiting until I was close to kicking the bucket, you might say I took the bucket out of my bucket list. I took the bull by the horns, and I'm reaching for previously categorized "don't even bother wishing 'cause they can't come true" things and I'm making them a passionate part of my everyday reality, one at a time, step by step, until my time runs out.

If you're interested in taking the bucket out of your own bucket list, jumping in now on the things you've always wanted to do, the worksheet below might be helpful in getting you started. You can and should come back to this often in the future to revise and hone your goals, re-strategizing as you make progress from one item to the next. Remember, small, slow, and cheap still means moving forward.

My Bucket List

Date: (may include the dates of whenever revised)

What's in My Bucket

Wishes: (listed in order of priority, #1 being the one I'm most passionate about and the one I'll get started on first)

#1

When and how will I begin to reach for things in my bucket?

a)    How long do I want to experience this goal? 

Circle one: Once | Ongoing | Until I'm finished

b)    Detail the first step to beginning:

c)     Describe later steps to developing my goal:

d)    Specify the time(s) and day(s) I'm devoting to the undertaking:

e)    Brainstorm strategies to help accomplish my wish:

f)      Identify why this is in my bucket and what I hope to get out of it:

#2

When and how will I begin to reach for things in my bucket?

a)    How long do I want to experience this goal? 

Circle one: Once | Ongoing | Until I'm finished

b)    Detail the first step to beginning:

c)     Describe later steps to developing my goal:

d)    Specify the time(s) and day(s) I'm devoting to the undertaking:

e)    Brainstorm strategies to help accomplish my wish:

f)      Identify why this is in my bucket and what I hope to get out of it:

You can find a PDF of this worksheet here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/uploads/2/3/5/5/23554234/bucketlistcourtesyofkarenwiesnertypeb.pdf

For those who are more goal-oriented, Type A personalities like myself, you might want an even more vigorous plan of attack. For that, I offer a more in-depth worksheet, which you can find here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/uploads/2/3/5/5/23554234/bucketlistcourtesyofkarenwiesnertypea.pdf, or you could even incorporate the heart of the bucket list ideals into a SMART goals program (a simple internet search will hook you up for that).

"Seize the life and the day will follow!" ~Linda Derkez

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.
Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/
and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/

Taking the Bucket Out of the Bucket List, Part 1 by Karen S. Wiesner

Taking the Bucket Out of the Bucket List,

Part 1

by Karen S. Wiesner

In this two part article, I discuss the wisdom and benefits of, and strategies for, drawing up a personal bucket list as early as possible--long before the curtain of a life is drawn.

Thanks for my fellow blog mates Rowena and Margaret for inspiring this impromptu article with their suggestions for potential topics I could cover on Alien Romances. Also thanks to those who critiqued this article for their suggested improvements and enthusiasm before it was posted.

About 10 years ago, I sort of watched the movie The Bucket List out of my peripheral vision. My husband is fond of watching movies on one of our TVs while I play Xbox games on the other. Condensing the theme of that movie, two terminally ill, older men come up with a wish list of things they want to do--and, in an abbreviated amount of time, they attempt to fulfill them--before their time on Earth literally runs out. My first thought in response to the theme of this film was, Why would anyone want to do this when they're old, tired, dying, and it's nearly too late? Why not do the things you're passionate about long before there actually is a countdown to death and while young enough to truly enjoy the adventure(s) undertaken? Few questions have ever motivated me more than these two.

As far as the internet can tell, the term "bucket list" was either created or popularized by that 2007, so-named movie. A bucket list is believed to relate to the idiom "kick the bucket", which is a term that originated in the 16th century. Be prepared to cringe: The wooden frame that was used to suspend slaughtered animals was called a bucket. I think you can guess what happened after they were hung up by their hooves. Yikes. Long story short, there was a lot of kicking done just prior to death. A bucket list, then, is created to clarify what one wishes to accomplish either in a specific timeframe (as in, "one and done" tasks completed in a short amount of time) or by the end of a life (long-term projects). Bucket list wishes can be self-actualization goals or ones you've set for endeavors such as charity work, career, or family or friend-related purposes.

While at that time I didn't really sit down and write up a formal bucket list of my own, I thought long and hard about which goals would make mine. The most important factors in doing this, for me, were, first and foremost, that I would be able to enjoy them all throughout the rest of my life, and, only slightly less important, that I'd be able to accomplish my personal goals earlier in life than "at the end".

My list actually wasn't that difficult to come up with, as I'm sure other people will discover as well, because many of these were already passions I was unwilling or unable to indulge in thus far in my life. In the process, I formulated a list of four things I'd spent my lifetime up to that point dreaming about but not believing I could do. My reasons for not doing them stemmed from a) the expense involved, b) the lack of time to undertake them, and c) being very aware that it takes me a long time and a whole lot of effort to learn new things (in part because I was already 45 years old when I embarked on this).

Unofficially, I suppose the first real bucket list wish I made started with writing. I wrote (and illustrated) my first story when I was eight, and I always knew that was what I wanted to do more than anything else. There was little if any encouragement around me for this endeavor but, in the defense of my friends and family, becoming a success in this field isn't exactly a stable environment or income. When I was 20, I was determined to make a go of it regardless. My first book was published when I was 27…just after I'd made the heartrending decision to quit writing because I'd already invested nearly a decade attempting and failing to get published. Sometimes it takes that kind of irony to kick you in the pants and inspire you to reach for more. I spent the next 27 years of my life setting goals and pouring my all into making something of my writing. As I near the end of my writing career at the age of almost 55, my published credits in most every genre imaginable have passed 150 titles and these have garnered nominations or wins for over 130 awards.

The bucket list of lifelong passions I officially came up with after watching The Bucket List was quickly assembled (written down here years later in all the detail I imagined from its origin), prioritizing my wishes according to my deepest desires:

#1: Learn to play piano. I've loved music all my life. I can't stand silence so music fills all my waking moments. I wasn't allowed to learn an instrument in school, and I'd wanted to from the moment the possibility was brought up. My goal in doing this wasn't fame or to perform in a professional setting. It would only ever be for private enrichment and perhaps to accompany family and friends--many of them musicians.

I started small with the first Alfred's Piano instruction book and my son's discarded keyboard. I practiced every day, teaching myself from the manual and asking my guitar- and saxophone-playing husband (who was part of the praise team band at our church) for help whenever I needed it. Naturally, that keyboard quickly didn't have what I needed to advance (88 keys and pedals), but a generous gift allowed me to purchase the beautiful piano I now cherish. I also started taking piano lessons nearly a year into my efforts and took them for more than four years. When my instructor moved away, I went back to teaching myself.

At the time I started, I committed myself to this, my #1 bucket list priority, and I was disciplined in daily practice and learning as much as I could about all aspects. I knew going into it that it would be the biggest challenge of my life, and, boy, was (and is) it. But it's worth it. Eight years in, and I'm still learning, still developing, still passionate about it, and it's something I'll do, and enjoy, until the day I die.

#2: Develop my drawing and artistic skills across many types of media. I've been writing children's books as long as I can remember, but finding someone to illustrate them hasn't been easy. I've had many stories that I've written that I couldn't get anyone to provide artwork for so they're sitting in my story cupboard, unpublished. In the past, I often wished that the fledgling talent I've had all my life in this field could be cultivated and honed into true ability. While I didn't at first intend to make illustrating children's books a career, when I made my decision several years ago to retire from writing soon, I realized that it was exactly what I wanted to do once I've completed the last of my book 16 series.

I started slow and cheap. Using inexpensive pencils and drawing pads or typing paper I already had lying around the house, I randomly drew whatever inspired me whenever I had downtime from writing. In the first year I undertook this, I produced a few good things. I wasn't trying to do anything serious beyond seeing what I could accomplish and what my strengths and weaknesses were. I knew if I let myself get too excited, it would interrupt my writing, and I didn't want to do that, considering I was counting down to completing my last several novels. I wanted to devote myself to making those stories the best they could be.

Last year, finding myself slowing down in general with nearly everything in my life, recovering from writing projects became much more difficult for me. I needed longer breaks and other ways to relax in between projects. I invested a bit more time and money into my artistic endeavors. I found a place that offers affordable DVD/streaming courses taught by some of the best experts in their respective fields and purchased three art classes on drawing, pencil coloring, and painting. These could be done as I had time and I could set my own pace. I purchased artist grade pencils, paper, and other supplies and equipment. Additionally, I reworked my daily and yearly goals to include times of writing and times of art. I also decided to bring along my readers on this endeavor by posting my art (such as it was) on my Facebook page. The response has been both motivating and moving.

As my artistic abilities grow, I'm finding the process hard, but also realizing I can do things I could never have imagined I was capable of in the past. At the moment, I'm still reining in how much time and effort I devote to these endeavors, but I'm only a few books away from finishing the last of two series. Until then (mid-2024, if I stay on track with my goals), I'm applying myself to learning and honing my artist talents in the time I've allotted to it each day, week, or month, so, by the time I'm ready to get started illustrating my first children's book, I'll have a wide variety of mediums I'm skilled enough in to utilize.

#3: Learn a second language. I took a year of French in high school and I was actually really good at reading and writing the language, just not speaking it. When it started getting mathematical (the way they do numbers is hard!), I dropped out. I've regretted my decision not to continue. My husband is very good at languages--he taught himself ancient Greek and he's using a program that makes learning a language fun and easy to advance for Spanish. He's constantly asking me to join him in the program, but with writing, piano, and art in my daily life taking up most of my time and energy, I'm spread a little thin. I used to have a friend who spoke native Spanish, and I always wished I could understand her when she talked to her family in the language. That would have been the perfect time to start learning, as I could have gotten real feedback and help in learning, but I was motivated at that time. After I retire from writing, I'll have one less thing on my plate and I expect I'll get involved with the program hubby's using to learn Spanish at that point. (I do actually have a loose goal of 2025 set to start this.)

#4: Learning. Just learning. Like most people, I have a lot of random interests that I've never had a lot of time to explore--learning to sing professionally (I do have natural talent in this regard, luckily) as an accompaniment to playing piano, finding out more about unique periods of history (Medieval specifically), geography, space, art culture, and science. The place where I got my art DVDs offers courses in a lot of these disciplines that interest me. I don't currently have a lot of time, but I've already mentioned that I don't care for silence. Usually I fill it with music or art lessons. However, there are frequent slots in my day where I could easily be listening to a lecture, learning more about any one of these random interests. I always want to be learning new things that may inspire any of my other abilities to new heights of creativity. That said, I wouldn't undertake this goal until I'm well into learning a second language.

Next week we'll talk about strategies in taking the next step toward achieving the goals in your life you're most passionate about seeing fulfilled.

"Seize the life and the day will follow!" ~Linda Derkez

Karen Wiesner is an award-winning, multi-genre author of over 150 titles and 16 series.

Visit her website here: https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/

and https://karenwiesner.weebly.com/karens-quill-blog

Find out more about her books and see her art here: http://www.facebook.com/KarenWiesnerAuthor

Visit her publisher here: https://www.writers-exchange.com/Karen-Wiesner/