Showing posts with label Soul Mate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Soul Mate. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Theme-Worldbuilding Integration Part 10 - Is Government Form Irrelevant? by Jacqueline Lichtenberg

Theme-Worldbuilding Integration
 Part 10
Is Government Form Irrelevant?
 by
 Jacqueline Lichtenberg 

Previous parts of this series are found here:

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2014/04/index-to-theme-worldbuilding.html

In Part 9 of this series on integrating your stated Theme (what you want to say about Life, The Universe, And Everything) with the World you construct around your Characters,

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2015/10/theme-worldbuilding-integration-part-9.html

I wrote:
-----------QUOTE--------------
Worldbuilding is about analyzing our real world into bits and pieces, then synthesizing, putting them back together into a new pattern, building a new world from the same components we already have, and maybe one or two really alien ones.

Theme is about the organizing principle that arranged those bits and pieces to begin with combined or synthesized into the new principle you invent to build your fictional world around.

What makes fiction believable and the source of value to your customers is the internal consistency of the rules for your built world.
------------END QUOTE-----------

One of the most frustrating things I have found about reviewing the newest Science Fiction Romance or Paranormal Fantasy -- most of the new novels with or without an ostensible Romance -- is the absence of new, original thinking.

One of the singular attractions of this field is New Ideas.

That is why science fiction is called The Literature of Ideas.  Not because science fiction with or without a romance or love story is purely intellectual, dry, boring, abstract and/or philosophical, but because a whopping great science fiction novel makes you think of New Ideas wholly different from those presented in the novel.

You get new ideas from reading fiction.

The fiction doesn't "give you" ideas, and doesn't tell  you to believe this or that idea, or ideal, but as Gene Roddenberry taught, it asks questions.

The questions a good piece of fiction in any genre asks are the ones the writer does not know the answer to -- but may in fact know quite a few possible answers that only lead to more questions.

The core of the matter is questions.

Learning to wade into a new field, a matter, a problem, and sort it out so that useful questions can be posited is very hard.

It takes maturity, it takes experience, it takes training in scientific thinking, and it takes training in mystical thinking.

 Plotting a novel, with a romance story, a love story, and a mind-boggling Theme requires setting your Main Character(s) loose into a World you have Built, and blind-siding them with a Problem.

Chapter One does not have to open on the Problem, but does have to set the Characters on the path that leads to the Problem.

The trick to finding the Hero of the Story is knowing all the Characters, and choosing to tell the story from the point of view of the person whose inner decisions and mindset become implemented and cause the Problem to arise.

In other words, you can start with the Character as a kid, sitting on his bed, looking out the windows at the stars and wishing to be kidnapped by a UFO.

Pick out some aspect of that scene that leads to the Problem that kid will have to solve and show don't tell how the mystical forces of Universal Justice respond to that Wish.

Yes, "scary mad wishes do indeed make things come true."  I do understand why "Mr. Rogers" sang that wishes do not make things come true -- but they actually do.  That is why we recognize the odd resonance called, "Poetic Justice."

Poetic Justice is "the end" of your plot that starts with a wish to be kidnapped by a UFO.

It doesn't mean you will be kidnapped by a UFO, nor even that you will be kidnapped at all.  It doesn't mean you will meet up with a UFO.  It means that the reason why you wished to flee the Situation in the Household will be addressed by the overall shape of your life, and the Happily Ever After will not happen until you completely address all that family-induced "baggage."

 The writer has to address those connections in show don't tell, and stay completely "off the nose" as they say in screenwriting.

The writer has to dissect the reader's real world into bits and pieces, then reassemble it around the Main Character into a world where that childhood "scary mad wish" comes true, is faced, is vanquished, and Happily Ever After sets in.

The World the writer builds around the Character has to "reflect" the Character and his/her Problem, just as our own subjective realities are shaped by the problems we harbor within our subconscious minds.

"Scary Mad Wishes" erupt from the subconscious, and sometimes go back into hiding.  From that hidden place within, they orchestrate our personal downfall -- and perhaps our next rise.

Revealing to the reader just how the Character's Scary Mad Wish is manifesting in their life, without them knowing it at all, can show the reader just how their own repressed Scary Mad Wishes or Bright Longing Wishes are manifesting in the reader's own life.

It's a principle.  You can see other people doing this, but it's very hard to see yourself being your own worst enemy, getting yourself fired from job after job, being the victim of unexpected disasters.  The key to making it stop happening is to see it happening.

Only by resolving that Scary Mad Wish that the kid crammed down into the subconscious and made into a repression and/or neurosis can the succession of bewildering, adverse Events be redirected into fortunate Events.

These childhood repressions (OK, oversimplifying here) govern our close personal Relationships -- romance, love, marriage.

Marriages break up in two main ways:
A) the refusal to confront and resolve repressions which leads to insane fights or
B) the resolving of a repression changes the Character to where the pairing no longer works and the Bond is shattered.

In other words, married couples grow away from each other for two huge categories of reasons:
A) fed up with your repressions or
B) not co-dependent on you anymore.

So the Writer's Problem becomes illustration of the reasons why some married couples grow toward each other, not away.

The "hotter" the Romance that sucks them into Bonding, especially before the age of 21 (3rd quartering of Saturn) the more likely the attraction is rooted in something that will cause an explosive breakup.

The Astrology Just For Writers posts are listed here:

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2010/03/pausing-for-you-to-catch-up-with-me_30.html

The ideal pairing in a Romance is between Soul Mates.

As I've discussed at length, positing a Soul Mate situation requires positing a Soul -- and the "reality" of the Soul is a Theme-Worldbuilding element.

If you posit Soul Mate level Love for your Couple, you are building a world in which the Soul is "real."  That may be a fantasy premise, and the rejection of that premise may be why so many readers disbelieve the HEA.

As I said in a previous post here:

----------QUOTE--------------
To understand the infinitely large, one must have a solid understanding of the infinitely "small."

"Large" and "Small" are concepts that can not be defined without using "space" (the 3 physical dimensions, Height, Width, Depth).

If a thing doesn't have "size" how can it "be?"

Well, how big is your Soul?  How much does it weigh?

We can measure the "brain" but have not yet "located" (in space) the Soul.  Therefore, people who study this kind of thing have a hard time including "Soul" in their model of Reality.

Thus reading Romance Novels is "escape" for them because the best romance novels are about Soul Mates.  Free Romance Novels are flying off Amazon's virtual shelves very likely because  spending time in a universe where Souls are real is just the escape that is sought by Romance Reader.

The most profound thing I've ever learned about Souls came via a course on Kabbalah, where I learned the soul enters the material world through the dimension of Time.  Not SPACE -- but TIME.  The Soul exists through TIME -- but not SPACE.  The brain exists through SPACE and TIME.

Another thing I learned from Kabbalah while writing the 5 books on Tarot...

http://astore.amazon.com/simegen-20?node=4&page=1

...is that the Soul descends into the body in stages, starting at conception and proceeding (I think by quantum leaps) to the threshold of sexual maturity at about 13.  This theory produces a unique paradigm for child-rearing, setting expectations expanding as the Soul gains a better grip on the animal body.  Given knowledge of what will be expected of him/her at given birthdays, and training to rise to that new level, maturity unfolds in a more steady way.
-----------END QUOTE--------

So Soul has no "dimension" -- nothing to measure and certainly has no "location" not even as indeterminate as the location of a "particle" (which is probably a wave).

Soul is not like a "particle" -- nothing material can find or measure it.  But its presence resonates in our awareness.

That's just one Theory of Soul.  You can create your Theory of Soul freehand with many other postulates.

If you posit Soul Mates, then you must posit Soul, and if you posit Soul you must include in your Worldbuilding the distinctive properties that define Soul in your fictional World.

To create verisimilitude, you must build your fictional World's Soul hypothesis around some feature of everyday reality that your readers are accustomed to.  Religion does the trick for a lot of readers, but today many have been raised without official religious instruction.

So the Romance Writer is left to recreate the anthropological dimension of Religion for the Cultures of their fictional Worlds.

If Religion and/or Soul is the Main Theme of your novel, then elaborate detail about the nature of Soul in your fictional World can be brought front and center, becoming the plot-driving-force.

Most Romance novels don't require long, elaborate thesis statements about the nature of Soul.  The point, after all, is the Romance not the Theology.

Theme is the point of your story.  Love Conquers All is the big, envelope theme for all Romance stories.

The big conflict in Romance is "Love vs. All."  Most readers have a set idea about what Love really is, so the writer's main job is to create an All for Love to conflict with, and All that prevents the Love from reaching the HEA.

The Love is an emanation of the Soul.

The All is the outside environment.

Remember in Romeo and Juliet it was social standing in an Aristocracy that was the All.  Aristocratic based government is the standard default worldbuilding element Fantasy wriiters use without thinking.

Much of the Paranormal and/or Fantasy Romance genre comes out of Victorian Romance because the appeal of the Victorian era is the purely Alien Ambiance.

Note that Chelsea Quinn Yarbro's St. Germain series started with  The Palace, a novel set in an Aristocracy -- and the Vampire St. Germain bills himself as a Count.

Historically, in our real world, totalitarianism has always been the default governmental form.  Thousands of years B.C.E., Egypt, Persia, Assyrian, Babylonian, -- all totalitarian ruled by Aristocracy.  That's why the Ancient Greek contribution of the bizarre and strange (truly alien to human nature?) concept of Democracy, and the related compromise of Republic, were science fiction concepts of their time.

Look at the Middle East Mess Of Today -- where governments melt down, "strong men" take over ruling their "tribes" with an iron fist.  So the advent of a Sharia Law driven Rule By Divine Right is immensely attractive.

So we come to the crux of the matter -- Rule By Divine Right, totalitarianism by Divine Decree.

If your theme is Love Conquers All, and you are telling the story of Soul Mates bonding despite The All that opposes them, that "All" that opposes True Love is almost always a product of Governmental form.

In an Aristocracy, you have the arranged marriage for political purposes, welding Kingdoms together into alliances that can last generations.

In other words, for the sake of peace, the strong government thwarts the Soul Mates joining in True Love.

In a Rule By Divine Right government, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one (as Spock said and I noted last week.)

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2015/11/reviews-20-by-jacqueline-lichtenberg.html
So despite the need of the individual to marry her Soul Mate, she is married off to the foreign King so there won't be war.

The form of the governmental structure dictates the Plot of the story told in the World you have built.

If this type of atrocity is not happening to your Main Character, it is happening to someone in your world.  The form of the government is never irrelevant to your Main Character, no matter the form or the social status of the Character.

Why is that necessary?

Think about your reader's life.  Think about your own life.  Think about the lives of people in the news.

We have a worldwide refugee problem because of collapsing governments and people fleeing the "Strong Man" out to destroy them.

We have a worldwide drug-cartel economy -- the most arable land in Afghanistan is forced because of the form of the government, to grow drug poppies rather than the food that would grow there in abundance.

In the U.S.A. we have millions of "illegal immigrants" -- here mostly because of the governments they are fleeing.  The form of government has a lot to do with the form of the economy, and people migrate if they don't have enough to eat or are hunted by thugs for being good people.

Amidst all that churning and ever migrating population are all the Love Stories, Romances, and thwarted Soul Mates who will have to wait for another incarnation to Bond with each other.

Click around in this history timeline map for a bit and muse over how urbanization spread across continents.  A Strong Man (tribal Chief, hereditary or on merit) government is all you need if the only people within 5 day's travel are members of maybe 5 or 10 families nomadic families.  Settle in by a nice tame creek with lush fields all around, a neat little forrest for hunting, and suddenly you need "government" because you have to defend your territory from those who envy it.

Look again at the Bible.  It traces the archetype of history so neatly.  From Abraham to the final entry into the Promised Land, the people had no government as such.  They had respected elders who decided disputes, and people lived whole lives around people they knew all their lives.

Once they moved into the Promised Land, the Law changed.  They had a nice river and lush farmland, and other resources and had to defend it.  Things got chaotic, and they had to deal with other people around them, so they asked for a King like everyone else had.

Tribal Elders everyone knows and trusts is a non-scalable form of government.  It doesn't work when you have to organize a defense of a larger group, and some people don't want to give their fair share of what that defense costs.

When the group grows, gradually the needs of the many begin to outweigh the needs of the few or the one.

So we appoint or elevate Kings who develop an aristocracy of would-be Kings to manage local problems.

The non-Aristocrats consider the Aristocrats to be "priveleged" but the Aristocrats see Noblesse Oblige -- that their needs are sacrificed by an accident of birth to the needs of the many.

Back to Astrology for a minute.  The needs of the many is represented by 7th House, the Public, and the marriage partner, and the family, tribe etc.  The needs of the few or the one are represented by 1st House, the Self, and the position of Self relative to Other.

The Natal Chart diagram is a circle divided into 12 sections, 6 pairs of opposites.  The oppositions represent that kind of tension between government (the many) and self (the one).

Another pair writers need to study is 4th House vs 10th House -- which is the Workaholic Spouse Story, the tension between Home and Career.  When that tension breaks, you get the cheating spouse and divorce story.

All the House pairs of oppositions define plot types.

The 4th House is your household, your home.  The 10th is Government.  4th House is symbolized by The Moon, and 12th by Saturn -- emotion vs. logic, Soul vs. Science.

The form of government (Saturn and Capricorn represent governance, regulation, management) dictates the form of the home, (The Moon repesents the reigning Need).  The resolution of this conflict is for the power of Saturn to be enlisted in the accomplishment of the Reigning Need.

That is the astrological description of the Happily Ever After result.

Note that the 1st House vs 7th House opposition is at 90 degrees (square or athwart) the 4th House vs 10th House.

The "square" symbolizes interference or the kind of challenge that builds strength as it is conquered.

That 4-way tension describes your reader's world in terms you, as a writer, can emulate in your fictional world to give the absurd things your Characters do verisimilitude.

You build the form of government which may be functioning outsiide your Character's purvue into the foundation of your fictional world where your reader may never see it.  The fact that it is there governing the Characters world gives the reader a feeling that this fictional world is real.

In a Romance story, you focus the plot on the 1st House and the 4th House -- Self athwart Home -- but to make Self and Home seem realistic, they must be under tension of opposition from The Public (7th) and Government (10th).

You choose the form of government to be an expression of your Theme, just as you choose the form of the Home to express Theme.

The Main Character, the Hero, is the one facing the Problem.

Back to the kid wishing to be kidnapped by a UFO.

Consider the popularity of the TV Series The X-Files.

 
http://amazon.com/Pilot/dp/B001BWQ0XM/

Eventually, it is revealed that Mulder's sister was kidnapped by a UFO, which memory sank into his subconscious and set him on a furious and perhaps unreasoning (anti-Saturn, ungoverned) quest to prove UFO's are real, so he's not crazy.

The woman he's partnered with is a pure-science person who has an open mind but sees nothing that can prove UFO's kidnap people.  Little by little, she has to change her mind.

That's a typical Soul Mate Bonding process.

That's why the show was so popular.

They worked for the FBI (government - Saturn) and had their careers (10th House) ruined (thwarted) by their personal (1st House) needs.  So they got relegated to the X-Files -- made a laughing stock.

To write a Romance between an Alien and a Human, you have to create an Alien -- which means creating an Alien (non-human) culture.  To have a culture, you must have some "form of government" -- and for it to seem realistic, your alien government has to be something that would not work to govern humans.

If you can come up with something new -- some form of government and an alien species that would naturally develop that form -- you will have a science fiction best seller.

So consider the evolution of forms of government for humans and why they work -- from tribal elders to tyrants and totalitarian Kings in every form -- consider Democracy, Republics, elected Emperors like Rome, and all the way to religious refugees creating the absurd compromise of a Democratic Republic for the United States of America.

Then trace the erosion of the Republic of the USA back into a strange, hybrid totalitarianism where we elect people to make all our personal decisions for us.  Juxtapose the rise and fall of the Democratic Republic hybrid against the population statistics.

Ancient Greece had a microscopic population density compared to even the most rural parts of America today.

Most galactic science fiction postulates either Empires (STAR WARS) or autonomous world-kingdoms.  Some postulate more complicated representational governments.

What these novels ignore in creating galaxy-sized governments is the way our forms crumble when scaled up by orders of magnitude.

The USA Constitution worked wondrously for a couple million people all the way up to 60 million or so.  Between then and today's 320 million, decision after decision has led to more centralization of decision-making, more of the individual's decision-making being out-sourced to government.

Why?

Because the human brain just can't absorb enough information to make sensible decisions for such huge and diverse groups.

So we are trending toward imposing uniformity in order to "manage" (Saturn; Govern) the country.

Why?

Because if we can impose enough uniformity on ourselves, we have fewer independent variables to consider when making decisions -- with uniformity, we could keep on using the same old the human government forms we've already invented.

There are cultures that have a continuous history of thousands of years that exalt uniformity and elevate the needs of the many over the needs of the few or the one.  For them, totalitarianism in all its plethora of forms works just fine.

For humans totalitarianism and the kind of uniformity that it requires is the only thing we have proven to work in high-density populations for thousands of years.

Generally speaking, over human history, government by totalitarianism or dictatorships or centralized management (the Ancient Chinese are famous for their bureaucracy) usually means government by revolution.  The only way to replace decision makers with new ones is by long and bloody wars.

The French Revolution -- off with their heads -- is a grand example, as is the Russian revolution.  They had to kill all the aristocrats, but having done that -- the new leaders became aristocrats by a different name.

The Poul Anderson rule of science fiction is that you start inventing your aliens with their evolution and sexuality or reproductive biology.  The idea is that human government is a consequence of human reproduction methods.

One new theme might be that the nature of the Soul generates the form of the government.

So create the biology of your aliens, generate their cultures from that biology and/or souls, then from their cultures generate their forms of government.

As long as you keep the paradigm of opposites that your reader lives within, (1st House vs 7th House; 4th House vs 10th House), you will be able to convince your readers that your aliens are Alien, but comprehensible enough to be worth reading about.

The Problem your Characters must solve will then be obvious to you from the pairs of opposites.

For example, if you stand within the Individual, within Yourself, then your Problem is Others.  Others can be the public, the spouse, the family including in-laws, the ex-spouse, and anyone you are obliged to.

If you stand within the Home, your Problem is Career.  If you stand within Career, your Problem is Home.

4th House is what you need, but its opposite 10th House is what you must do, -- discipline is Saturn, and discipline binds Government (10th House) to Family (4th House).

That astrological paradigm is based on the configuration of our solar system.  Aliens might evolve a different paradigm if they originate in a different kind of solar system.

If your Alien system is based on this "tension between opposites -- thwarted by squares" layout of social forces, it will be plausible to your reader when your Earth Human falls in love with an Alien.

Looked at another way, family is the foundation of government (Cancer vs Capricorn -- Moon vs Saturn).  They are inimical to each other, but at the same time each contains within itself the seeds of the opposite.

Nurture (Moon) requires Discipline (Saturn).  That which you need (Moon) must be limited (Saturn).

Put another way, "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished" -- Nurturing triggers a Saturn backlash.

You can't have everything you want (Moon) just because you want it.  Thousands of Romance stories revolve around the ne'er-do-well and attempts to reform him with nurture.  Nurture won't reform him -- what will reform him is discipline, Saturn, limitations.  You send him to the army and make him a private.

If the problem is Needs/Wants/Desire run wild, you have to create a hierarchy of values, and decide what to give up for what.  You can have anything, provided you are willing to give up everything for it.  That's Saturn in action.

Does your Alien Solar System have a Saturn?

We call the absence of government "anarchy."  But is it if you don't need government?

Many animals on Earth are 'territorial' -- living one per so many square miles of territory and chasing off rivals.  Are your aliens territorial?  If they live one per solar system, do they actually require 'government' at all?

Note what I pointed out above -- our governmental forms morph in lockstep with our population density.  People who live in cities, densely crowded tend to vote for policies that use governmental power to force the more capable to support the less capable.  People who live in rural districts tend to vote for policies that prevent government from using force upon them.

How much Territory does a human being need?  How many humans must a human have around them?  How large does a colony on another planet have to be to survive -- and at that minimal size what kind of government would they choose?

What about humans living among aliens -- how would the humans govern themselves?

I tackled that one in two novels, Molt Brother
http://amazon.com/Molt-Brother-Lifewave-Book-1-ebook/dp/B004AYCTBA/
and its direct sequel, City of a Million Legends.
http://amazon.com/City-Million-Legends-First-Lifewave-ebook/dp/B007KPLRUU/

Would humans raised among Aliens adopt the alien's government form?  Or impose human forms on the Aliens?  Or hybridize the two so the Aliens become Alien to their compatriots?

There is a lot of room for original thinking on Government Forms in the newly hybridized field of Alien Romance.

Jacqueline Lichtenberg
http://jacquelinelichtenberg.com

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Theme-Symbolism Integration Part 3 Why Do We Cry At Weddings Part 2 by Jacqueline Lichtenberg

Theme-Symbolism Integration
Part 3
Why Do We Cry At Weddings Part 2
by
Jacqueline Lichtenberg
Symbolism
Bride&Groom Pray Before Ceremony
Without Seeing Each Other

Previous Parts of Theme-Symbolism Integration
PART 1
http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2014/12/theme-symbolism-integration-part-1-you.html

PART 2
http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2015/08/theme-symbolism-integration-part-2-why.html

And this is Part 3 of Theme-Symbolism Integration - as well as Part 2 of Why We Cry At Weddings.

It is said that laughter is a response to pain, the edge of the zone of pain, the prospect of pain -- a tickle is a sensation that can escalate into pain, but doesn't, yet it sets the nerves on fire and we laugh, giggle, flinch away just as if it were pain.

Emotional pain works the same way -- the tickle of the edge of a painful emotion sizzles through the nerves and jerks out a bark of laughter. 

Like a sneeze, laughter is a reflex: the nerves fire, the muscles respond, on a sliding scale of intensity.

Last week, we discussed Vulnerability -- how a writer does not need to understand precisely where their reader is vulnerable to evoke emotion in the reader, but a writer needs to understand the condition of vulnerability. 

A tickle on a vulnerable spot can be experienced as pain. 

"Salt in an open wound" is an example of that.  Ordinarily, our skin doesn't respond much to salt -- though enough salt on the skin for long enough dehydrates and puckers the skin.  Scrape the skin a little, then trickle salty sweat over the raw spot and OUCH!

The most vulnerable spot people today have in common is, I think, the knotted ball of symbolism that grows out of Religion (all of them; not any particular one). 

Bride Praying Before Ceremony
Religious people are viewed as stupid, or at least uneducated, and who wants to be viewed that way?  So we have a lot of people who seriously believe in God, but disavow all Religion because Religious people are stupid.  Some of these have convinced themselves that they don't believe in God, even though they do.  Some accept the idea of Souls and Soul Mates, but not God. 

We seem to be in an epoch of human history where our penetration of understanding of Nature, of Stars, and Planets, Galaxies and Particles, Dark Matter, Strings, and even Life On Other Planets, is finally becoming common knowledge.

In general, even just a High School education exposes people to the miracles of genetics, neurology, disease treatments and even cures based on our understanding of nerve cells, and the brain as a whole.

Even Sanity is coming under scientific scrutiny.  Out of body experiences can be explained by brain activity.  Many severe psychological conditions can be treated by daily medication, and more miracles are in the works.

We can solve anything.  We are just animals with a little more brain matter than most. 

In many ways that is a very comforting thought, and it leads to clear positions on various difficult matters such as Abortion, Death Penalty Crimes, the morality of War, and how to perform Charitable Deeds (or not).  The list of today's dilemmas seems endless, and most of them are easily resolved once you understand the world in terms of the human brain's electrochemical base.

You don't need God to get married, or have children -- in whichever order you choose.

Even people who go to Church a few dozen times a year to salute the Unknowable Infinite still live their everyday life in a totally explicable Knowable world.

We rely on that scientific view of reality, base all our decisions and actions on it, and feel confident that we know what we're doing as responsible adults. 

Saturn rules Science.

Neptune rules Romance.

Saturn rules bones.

Neptune rules the Soul.

Bones exist - we know that.  Souls do not exist -- we're pretty sure of that.


Yet we search for, and often find and marry, our Soul Mate.

When we fall in love, we FEEL a new sensation on a vulnerable part of the psyche -- it is a loss of virginity, a new sensation, a new set of nerves connecting and sizzling with a message.

Pain and Pleasure are the same thing -- nerves stimulated in a pattern.  One we flinch away from and try to avoid; the other we pursue and try to repeat. 

Where we are vulnerable and tender, very faint stimuli register as intense.  Where we are calloused from repeated stimulation, even the most intense stimuli are barely noticeable.

As physical creatures, we seek stimulation as validation of our existence, of life itself.  Experiencing a response to stimulus is essential to our well-being.

The louder the music (however pleasurable), the faster it deafens (callouses) you. 

Sex works like that.  The more frequent and unrestrained the sex, the more intensity you need in order to feel it. 

Taste works like that.  The spicier the food you regularly eat, the more spice you need to taste anything at all. 

Smell works like that.  If there's a bad smell in your house, you get used to it and your best friend won't tell you how your clothes stink.  You wouldn't believe it, anyway.

What you are used to becomes imperceptible -- yet we seek perception. 

The term is "Jaded Palate" -- if you have a jaded palate, even good things don't seem noticeable.

So how do we, as writers, sneak around to the back door of our readers' Soul and tickle them? 

The main tool we use to get through our reader's thick callouses and pierce their Souls with emotions they can not name is Symbolism.

But randomly chosen symbols will not add up to a story.

Working against each other, randomly chosen symbols produce an undifferentiated fog of gray.

Choosing symbols specifically to explicate a particular Theme produces sharp contrasts, black and white, yellow and red, green and orange.  Emotions work just like colors. 
Armenian Couple Crowned & Blessed


There are Seven Colors in the Rainbow -- and Seven Primary Emotions.

The writer's creative medium is not words, not computer word processing, and not even imagery or poetry -- the writer's creative medium is Emotion.

Naturally, there's a lot of argument over classifying human emotion! 

In early 2014, The Atlantic published this article headlined:
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/02/new-research-says-there-are-only-four-emotions/283560/

-----------quote-------
New Research Says There Are Only Four Emotions

Conventional scientific understanding is that there are six, but new research suggests there may only be happy, sad, afraid/surprised, and angry/disgusted.

-------------end quote------

This theory is in contravention to the accepted model of 6 Primary Emotions: happy, surprised, afraid, disgusted, angry, and sad. 

There is a more classic list of 7 Basic Emotions -- Anger, Contempt, Fear, Disgust, Happiness, Sadness and Surprise.

In 2012, Discover Magazine carried a story about defining humanity's 7 primal emotions by studying rats and making them laugh.

http://discovermagazine.com/2012/may/11-jaak-panksepp-rat-tickler-found-humans-7-primal-emotions

---------quote from Discover article------------
Since the 1960s, first at Bowling Green State University and later at Washington State University, Panksepp has charted seven networks of emotion in the brain: SEEKING, RAGE, FEAR, LUST, CARE, PANIC/GRIEF, and PLAY. He spells them in all caps because they are so fundamental, he says, that they have similar functions across species, from people to cats to, yes, rats.

Panksepp’s work has led him to conclude that basic emotion emerges not from the cerebral cortex, associated with complex thought in humans, but from deep, ancient brain structures, including the amygdala and the hypothalamus. Those findings may show how talk therapy can filter down from the cortex to alter the recesses of the mind. But Panksepp says his real goal is pushing cures up from below. His first therapeutic effort will use deep brain stimulation in the ancient neural networks he has charted to counteract depression. Panksepp recently sat down with DISCOVER executive editor ?Pamela Weintraub at the magazine’s offices in New York City to explain his iconoclastic take on emotion. His new book, The Archaeology of Mind: ?Neuroevolutionary Origins of Human Emotion, will be published in July.
------------end quote----------

See?  Just understand the brain, and you are master of life, the universe, and everything.

There really is nothing else.  Right? 

We can research, re-invent and re-define our Primary or Primal Emotions, and re-arrange ourselves and our lives any way we want.  A little electrical stimulus fixes everything.

These articles on the brain and emotions make perfect sense to us.  What more do you need to know? 
So now you know, can you explain why you cry at weddings? 

If Grief is a Primal Emotion, then it's obvious why we cry at Funerals, isn't it?  Grief is personal, and composed of feeling sorry for oneself at the same time as feeling what it is like to be the person whose life has ended.  How will your life end?  Is there any meaning to anything we do?

Clearly grief is uncomplicated and thus Primal.

Notice the absence of LOVE as a Primal emotion.  Is that absence congruent with your model of reality? 

Now look at this Kabbalah inspired article on the 7 Primary Emotions
http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/277116/jewish/Introduction.htm

---------quote-----------
The seven emotional attributes are:
-----------end-quote------------

Note how each of the 7 Primary Emotions listed on that page is composed of "cross-terms" as they say in math, or harmonics as they say in Astrology, or how an artist mixes colors to make new hues, making a palate of 49 Emotions which these exercises are designed to mature.

With maturity of these emotional states, the corresponding negative emotions cited in scientific articles are absorbed and dissipated by the light of these powerful emotions.  One's internal emotional climate shifts -- yes, climate change -- and the world seems brighter.  And the burst of tears at weddings becomes more explicable, perceptible as a glimpse of something too bright to look at directly. 

Click the links on the page to find the mixtures, which make it easier to sort out the melange of emotions causing that Cry At The Wedding outburst. 

Note this list starts with LOVE.

It starts with Loving-Kindness.

What does it feel like when someone looks at you with Loving-Kindness in their eyes?  I know you've seen it, but have you ever named it out loud?

Also note that LOVE is a component of every one of the other 6 emotions in the list. 

This 49-element model of human emotion uses LOVE as the power-source behind all emotion. 

You can't act in Justice without Love, and so on.  Love is the primary component, the origin and the source powering all others. But look at what "all others" includes -- but most especially does not include in this list of 7 Primary Emotions that combine to drive the human spirit.

Also note Grief is not on the list of 49.  Nor Fear.  This 7-Emotion paradigm depicts a totally different Reality than any of the other lists of primary emotions.

So think hard.  Is this portrait of Human Emotion more akin to your own internal primary emotions?  Does this depict your reality, or the reality you glimpse at the moment you burst into tears at a Wedding?


You may want to buy the following book which explains (though that's not what it was written for) how to create plot-events or symbols from these abstraction emotions. 

In this book:
 http://store.chabad.org/product.asp?Product=bk-mlc-counteng
Which you can also buy on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Counting-Omer-Simon-Jacobson/dp/188658723X/

...each of the 49 individual Emotions discussed comes with a do-it-today exercise that is a challenge to your ordinary way of looking at the world.  These exercises, done in this sequence, strip calluses and leave vulnerability. 

To find out when the Omer is counted, search the App store (iPhone or iPad, probably Android too) for Omer.  Or the Android store.  There are lots of free apps, and some with in-app purchases.  An app usually uses your phone's local time to alert you to the day of the Omer being counted.

Starting with Passover and going 49 days to The Feast of Weeks, each day contains a plot-twist, and each annual repetition is no repetition at all, but rather a unique experience in learning about Emotion. 

You've heard the term "Emotional Intelligence?"  This exercise is preparation for an Emotional Intelligence test. 

There is a mystical (Kabbalah) tie between the day of the Lunar calendar and the action suggested in the exercises.  The idea is that doing that particular exercise on that specific day amplifies the effect the action has on your Emotional Intelligence in a way that doing it at another time would not have. 

The greater your emotional intelligence, the more effective you can be as a writer orchestrating emotional responses in your readers by using concrete plot-actions coupled with symbolism.

With that understanding grasped, let's get back to Weddings as a plot-Event.

As previously noted, the Romance part of a character's story is generally over at the Proposal.

But sometimes the hottest Romances start with a Wedding scene for mutual friend or relatives where the couple first meets -- during or after one of those Crying At A Wedding moments.

Eyes swimming, they see each other through rose-colored tears -- all the sharp edges and harsh lines of character flaws blurred out, and Loving Kindness sweeps them off their feet.

Now why do we understand the Crying At A Wedding moment to be a natural prelude to meeting a Soul Mate? 

If you've never seen it happen, never heard of it happening to anyone you know, still you find it an acceptable postulate to kick off a Relationship driven story.

Another good moment to start a Romance is at a Funeral -- during or after the crying, and desperately trying not to cry scene.

Likewise, there are meetings over a parent's death-bed, in a Court Room awaiting a death sentence, at the scene of a car accident, by the ambulances in front of a house going up in flames, amid the rubble of an earthquake or bombing in a war. 

These are moments of peak emotion, moments when the whole nervous system is in fear-fight-flight mode, constant orientation response mode.

These are not normal, everyday, get groceries and pick up the kids from school moments. 

The emotional peaking stretches the old emotional scars and calluses that ordinarily cover up our emotions and blunt the ability to respond to minor incoming stimuli.
 
These are moments of vulnerability when we can let another person "in" and give of ourselves in ways we ordinarily do not.  Connections can be made at such moments where the cracks in our emotional armor are spread wide.

Emotions welling up can crack that shell from the inside and leave sensitive surfaces exposed, vulnerable.

That happens at Weddings, and other Life Event Ceremonies.  Retirement ceremonies work.  Presidential Inaugural, or swearing in ceremonies. 

But just feeling emotion welling up doesn't cause that very odd, very peculiar and distinctive flash of tears common to the "Crying At A Wedding" moment.

Commonly, the tears well at the moment Bride or Groom says "I do" (or whatever they've written).

Or at the giving of the token (symbolism) - traditionally a ring.

Or at the first kiss -- which is likely not the very first, but is the first as a married couple.

The tears burn up out of the eyes at the moment recognized as "Everything Just Changed."

This is the moment the Future morphs, partly because of what the couple did and partly because you recognized the shift in Reality. 

We live in a state of taking things "for granted" -- of relying on assumptions.  We understand science, we understand ourselves as mortal animals governed by a complex brain - and that's it.

We just can't handle all the variables necessary to envision reality on many levels, extending along many axes, beyond infinity.  It's too much.  We can't work the problems of our lives with too much information.

So we cut down on our perceptions, hide behind emotional callus, and won't admit there is anything there that we are not feeling the presence of.

In these peak moments of life, though, the callus cracks, stretches open and exposes the tender flesh that can feel the "salt" -- the foreign substance -- hear the faint whisper of mystical Presence -- smell the whiff of the Garden of Eden -- taste mana. 

I'm using Biblical references because most readers will understand them.  But this ultimate truth perception-shift happens for everyone of every faith (atheist, too). 

You can use the Wedding Tears as a symbol to move your readers because it is common across all belief systems.

It is a moment in which some people experience confirmation that their Beliefs are true, not beliefs at all but really True-Truth, and that is astonishing and too painful to encompass.  Such a discovery is always followed by flinching away from it -- as if it were painful.

It is also a moment in which some people experience confrontation with the knowledge that everything they believe about Reality just is not true -- or not as complete a picture of Reality as they thought.

Either way, the callus cracks, like the clouds parting and letting sunlight into a dark day -- and we wince just as when sudden light in darkness causes a reflex to close our eyelids.

It is a "pull the rug out from under you" moment, a moment of astonishment when nothing you thought you could depend on actually works.

It is the moment between being shot and noticing that you're dead.

It occurs at that point where pleasure and pain join, where the scream of pain and the shout of laughter are indistinguishable. 

The physical nerves "white-out" and something else continues to perceive .... something.  It isn't the universe as you know it, but the universe unfiltered by your defending calluses.

There is the Uncertainty Principle -- where the observer changes the observed by the simple act of observing.  By noticing that The Future Changed at the moment two souls join, you have changed The Future.

Hence weddings must have Witnesses.  The act of Witnessing is the act of changing.

And that is not possible in the World As We Know It.  Just because I see you does not change you. 

Yet in some other Reality -- yes, it is true.  Two Souls mate and the Third Soul composed of the Two United is changed by the observation of the Witnesses.  So who witnesses can change the course of the marriage.  "I danced at your wedding," makes a difference.

Reality itself warps during these Life Event moments (and with our population in the billions, there are lots of such Events every moment the Earth turns).  Reality warps again as the moments are witnessed.

You've heard the phrase, "Don't look! You can't un-see this!" -- often applied to a gruesome accident or an atrocity. 

Once you have witnessed something, it becomes a part of you and can change the direction of your life.  Hence WITSEC - the Witness Protection Program.  You see it; you testify; you can not be the same person anymore or they will kill you for testifying.

The same is true of Weddings.  The knowledge that you are no longer the same person causes the tears -- grief for who you used to be, joy for all the new possibilities in your life, and maybe Love of God or whatever you deem the source of that searing brightness that lances into your vulnerable cracks.
 
Is it God?  Do you need to postulate that God Is Real or to admit the Soul is Real to understand why you cry at weddings? No, you don't have to.  It is one explanation that works fairly well for some people, but not the only one that covers all the observations.

Few come away from a crying jag at a wedding convinced that God came down and married these two Souls.  In fact, most people would think you crazy for saying that. 

Most people can point to sentimental reasons, memories of other weddings, realization of hopes for the new couple, poignant sorrow at the failure of their own marriage, cynical foreknowledge that this new couple will likewise part, and a piercing hope that, "No, not this time!"

So many mixed emotions clashing with each other create quite enough almost-pain to account for the buckets of tears shed at weddings down the ages.

Compare the tears shed at a Wedding with the burst of tears when you witness (even via TV) a heroic act, or a life sacrificed to save another, perhaps a helpless baby.  Compare the Wedding sensation with witnessing an Event such as how the USA responded during the 9/11 Attacks, or someone's worthy deed being given a worthy award.

Consider any movie or novel that you cried through the last ten minutes or twenty pages.  Finally, finally it all comes out right in the end and your faith in human nature is justified.

Each of these moments speaks in symbols, in traditions, in customs, in passing the torch to the next generation and finding them worthy - in symbols that affirm the continuity of human civilization.

Those symbols, arranged just-so, blindside us with a stab of hot emotion too searing to bear for more than an instant.  Just as when the dentist drills into a tooth and your eye waters, something from outside your callused shell breaks through to exposed nerve and you FEEL it.

That "It" that you feel may as well not exist in your life at all before and after that moment, just like the dentist's drill is always in his office but doesn't always hurt you.

What is that "It?"  What is it that comes through your cracks and hits a nerve in those peak moments of life?

Those who are bored at Weddings, or do not cry or feel deeply (maybe only come to get drunk?) may simply be too afraid of the nascent pain to let their calluses crack open even a little, to let that sensation happen to them. 

Naming that "It" gives you a Theme.  Shrouding that "It" in symbolism gives you a way of explaining what that "It" is to your reader, who may be one of those bored at a wedding type people. 

We see that "It" as "light" -- the kind of Light by which the Third Eye sees.  The wince away from that Light at Weddings is the Third Eyelid squinching shut after Witnessing the souls joined.

The "light" is so bright, the flash through our cracks so sudden, we can't See what's behind it, what's causing it, what's emitting that Light.  To us, it is only "It." 

  

"It" is amorphous.  To make a novel out of "It" manifesting in this world, you have to Name it. 

Your thesis for your theme is a Worldbuilding element.  In this World where these Characters live, Magic is Real, Evil is Palpable and Profitable, Good Always Wins (or Loses?).  Those are themes you never state in words, but mold into the fabric of your World. 

What is the "It" that intrudes at Life Ceremony Moments? Name that "It" and the name becomes your Theme.  "This is a World where "It" is (God, Devil, Demons, Angels, Aliens).  Each choice is a statement about that theme, and dictates the symbols that will be meaningful to your readers.  


Weddings have symbols and traditions for a reason. 

Use that reason even when you have your couple write their own vows and create new traditions.  Every tradition was done for the first time sometime.  Not all first time traditions last more than a generation.









One way to research current traditions is to search Pinterest for Wedding, Bride, Bride and Groom, and related keywords you can think of.  Wedding Planners and Photographers and Caterers are using Pinterest to present their services, and encourage innovative Weddings that won't bore the guests.  You can use their posted images to develop the symbolism in which to discuss your Theme.

 

Jacqueline Lichtenberg
http://jacquelinelichtenberg.com

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Theme-Symbolism Integration Part 2 Why Do We Cry At Weddings Part 1 by Jacqueline Lichtenberg

Theme-Symbolism Integration
Part 2
Why Do We Cry At Weddings?
Part 1
by
Jacqueline Lichtenberg




Theme-Symbolism Integration Part 1 is here:
http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2014/12/theme-symbolism-integration-part-1-you.html

So why do you cry at Weddings?

At what point in the ceremony are you most prone to burst into tears, or at  least gasp and blink and wish you'd remembered to bring tissues?

Does the point where you burst into sniffles signify a different reason for the emotional upwelling? 

Do you get that same feeling just looking at the pictures later? 

If you, the Romance writer, have no answer to that question, "Why?" then how can you portray, depict or evoke that crucial moment for your readers?

Do you fall back on cliche, or tell not show and just say "she sniffled" or had to leave because she was sobbing out loud? 

Have you ever examined that inner-emotional-WHAM that fills your eyes to the brim, in step by step analytical detail so that you know all the elements that compose that sob/gasp/whoom!

Have you ever experienced that kind of blast/scream of mysterious emotion in any other context?

Can you summon it at will, turn it this way and that, and dissect it so you can recreate it for readers who have never experienced it? 
 

Yes, some of your readers have never felt that exquisite pain/pleasure of crying at a wedding.

Some just suffer through weddings and consider it boring, never responding to the emotion of the moment.  Some are too overwhelmed by their own resentment or jealousy that someone else is getting married and they have no chance of ever having that moment.  Some are too overwrought by responsibility for "everything to go right" and can't feel the moment.  Some have only been to weddings where they were bridesmaids in pinching shoes and "the wrong color" for their body type. 

But do you know that flashing-burst of emotion intimately?  Do you feel it only at weddings?  Or does it come at other moments? 

Is the "at weddings" flash the same as that which comes over you on other occasions?  Is there something similar tying together the "at weddings" tears with tears that flood over you at other kinds of moments? 

If you can catalog, then contrast/compare the wash of tears brought on by various triggers and put words to the cause, to what your heart-of-hearts is responding to and why it is tender in that area, then you have nailed the ultimate theme of all Romance, or at the very least of all Soul-Mate based Romance. 

Here is a recent article on "triggers" and how society is conditioning young people to handle triggers:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/09/the-coddling-of-the-american-mind/399356/

Does that spark of emotion akin to that at weddings just blindside you from time to time, get pushed aside because sobbing out loud would be inappropriate or embarrassing, and then disappear onto a dusty shelf in your mind, not cataloged by any keyword?

Do you pay attention to the whipsaw emotional responses you have as you wander through life?  If so, chances are good you are a writer -- even if you've never written anything other than your signature.

Classical Romance generally finishes off before the Wedding, perhaps at the proposal or the acceptance, but rarely continues into the practicality of planning a personal extravaganza.  Sometimes, driving off to Las Vegas for an Elvis Presley wedding makes a good Ending.  But mostly, the "romance" part is over when practical, real life begins. 

Astrologically, Neptune rules Romance -- the blurry veils that soften reality and make everything beautiful.  Saturn rules practicality, things like the Wedding budget, choice of menu, caterer, venue, how many guests you can invite to your Wedding, and so on. 

Wedding Planners make their living off the fact that the Romance is still smothering the Couple's ability to manage mundane details in a business-like manner.  The Wedding Planner's job is to create a cloud of dreamy beauty to cushion and waft the couple into a heavenly honeymoon. 

Meanwhile, the prospective in-laws are trying to repair the errors they made at their weddings by imposing their dreams on the new couple.

Criss-crossing currents of fury/hope/grim-determination (not to mention pinching shoes) often interfere with Event Planning.  So people today try to out-source it all by hiring a professional to put on a pageant where the Couple can be the stars of the show.

 One of the things Wedding Planners do is create that sentimental moment where there is not a dry eye in the house.  That's showmanship, it is show-don't-tell, and it is symbolism.  The key to invoking the most powerful symbolism is theme.

Here are some previous posts where we have explored how to use Theme and Symbolism and other techniques that build your fictional world around creating such a powerful moment your reader cries -- just as they would at a wedding. 

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2012/08/how-to-use-theme-in-writing-romance.html

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2013/05/index-to-theme-plot-integration.html

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2014/04/index-to-theme-worldbuilding.html

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2015/04/theme-plot-character-worldbuilding.html

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2009/03/communicating-in-symbols.html

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2012/05/theme-element-giving-and-receiving.html

To create such a tear jerker moment in your fictional wedding, you may not need to understand what is going on inside you when you burst-into-tears, and try to push down and contain your response.  But some writers do need to articulate the unnameable in order to nail it effectively.

If you have experienced that wordless sensation that causes the flood of tears, you can very likely replicate it for many of your readers.  But if you have just used the material (the symbolism) that jerks your tears, you may leave a good part of your readership cold because you did not include the symbols that represent their vulnerable spot.

Your vulnerable spot does not have to be the same as their vulnerable spot if you understand vulnerability in general. 

Most people do not understand why they feel the way they do -- and of course there is no one answer that explains any particular emotion in everyone.

Emotion is in that realm beyond language.

The alphabet of emotion is symbolism.

Neptune rules symbolism, and Saturn & Mercury rule vocabulary definitions.

Neptune rules Romance, and Romance speaks in symbols. 

Hence weddings fraught with traditional symbolism hit vulnerable spots in almost everyone -- but the spot and the vulnerability are different for each person.

The response of crying at a wedding is idiosyncratic, individualistic, and simply will not be crammed into a word.  There is no language to that gut-grunting-screech of a cry.

If the triggers are so diverse, and the inner-meaning so idiosyncratic, then why is the experience so wide-spread, so common?

Crying at a wedding isn't something that happens once in a lifetime.  Some people cry at every wedding.  Some people experience that wham of emotion under other circumstances besides weddings.  Baby Showers?  Christenings? And of course funerals, but those tears feel different.

So next week we'll look at this blindsiding gut-punch emotional flash in more clinical detail to  understand what you, as a writer, can do with it.

Meanwhile, go watch a movie that makes you cry, hit pause and feel that feeling.  Notice what it is doing inside you.  Watch for similar responses you have to commercials, to cute-animals on Facebook, to your kids' graduation, and even to funerals, or Award Ceremonies.  Tributes to fallen heroes.  Whatever stirs and moves you with a surprise flash and upwelling eyes.  

What is going on inside you when you cry at the sight of something external to you? 

You will find the images in this post on my Pinterest collection Entertainment and Information, with links to the Wedding Planners and other contractors a Bride needs.
https://www.pinterest.com/AmbrovZeor/entertainment-information-sources/

Jacqueline Lichtenberg
http://jacquelinelichtenberg.com

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

Soul Mate Characters: Heroic, Villainous, Mystical And Romantic

Before we get started on this huge, deep topic, let me just note I've put up an experimental blog listing the characters (one character per "post") in my most recent Sime~Gen Novel, The Farris Channel, Sime~Gen #12, with a quick reference about "who" they are in the story.  It's a blog so that people who are reading the (very large, character-rich) novel have a place to note things about the characters for themselves, and for potential fanfic writers who might want to explore the complex, offstage lives of the ancillary characters (as other Sime~Gen characters have been explored in fanfic).

The blog is:
 http://charactersinsimegen.blogspot.com/ 

Sometime next week (March 12-16, 2012) the audiobook of the first novel in Sime~Gen, House of Zeor, is slated to be released as audiobook from audible.com (on Amazon and iTunes etc) and so far the fans who have heard samples of Michael Spence's reading are absolutely thrilled with his rendition of the main characters in that novel, Heroic, Villainous and Mystical alike. 

While I've been working on the audiobook project (Molt Brother is out, City of a Million Legends is being recorded, and Michael is getting ready to start Unto Zeor, Forever), and thinking about characters and actor's renditions of characters, on Google+ I found the following link to a newspaper article being shared that made a big impression on me:

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/health/2011/12/violent_video_games_may_affect.html

It's about brain research chasing a link between violent video games and the behavior of children who grow up playing them.  It doesn't site conclusive evidence, but it's "hot pursuit" time in this area.

We all know the link between sexuality and violence, and how "dark" sex-based fiction can get especially when the Romance is left completely in the dust by mechanical sex scenes. 

I'm all for really good sex scenes, mind you, but they have to be essential to the theme, make a clear statement, and advance the plot swiftly while deepening the flow of story.  Good sex scenes are harder to write than good combat and violence scenes. Good sex is a form of communication, a language of love.  Substituting anatomy for announcements is weak writing. 

MY OPINION ON THAT ARTICLE: It's not "sports" or "videogames" that cause "violence" -- it's the enactment of the "zero sum game" model of reality.

A sex scene that's a "zero-sum-game" will be an announcement of aggression that will be an act of dominance and maybe violence. Do you only love and treasure what you dominate? ("Dominate" means to be able to "take away" (I have/ you don't zero-sum-game model) anything from possessions to self-esteem from another human being.) 

"Sportsmanship" used to include celebration that the other guy won, not you, and you didn't have less of anything because the other guy scored more points:  not less prestige, strutting rights, joy, or anything.  It wasn't a zero sum game even with rules and scores.

"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game that counts." (Honor, integrity, fairness).  As society has evolved over the last few decades, we can see in our films and novels how that concept of sportsmanship became ironic, then ridiculous, and now isn't even said. 

Sports is about honor and heroism, about helping the fallen get up and go at it again, about breaking through your own inner, personal barriers and becoming a better person (and not on drugs) -- not better than some other person you "beat" but better than you, yourself were.  Sports is about excellence (as is Sime~Gen's House of Zeor) - it's about excelling your own personal-best, not about excelling someone else's personal best. 

It's not "sports" that's the problem in our current society; it's sanctioned viciousness.  Sports used to be an exercise in character development.  Now it's more like politics, an exercise in character debasement.  What you practice, you get better at. 

But that's the world we live in, isn't it?  The world of raising children by debasing their characters to where they only know how to "win" by debasing the character of others.

How many mothers out there ever even notice their kids staring at political ads?  How much do the kids understand?  What do they model from that?  How does that affect what they look for in a Soul Mate -- someone they can easily debase, or someone they will allow to debase them? 

MY OPINION: No, no, no! 

This world is made out of love for love, and because of love.  That's not my opinion.  It's my perception.  It's what I see when I look out of my eyes and assemble all the little pixel-dots and the black space around them (an image I used in a previous discussion here of a trilogy of historical romance novels set around 1050 C. E.) 

http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com/2012/02/research-plot-integration-in-historical.html

Character is one of the "filters" you use to "select" what is signal and what is noise in your life around you.  Your character is what selects what lights up the pixels that form your image of your life, and what you suppress or ignore.  These bits of information form a picture of the world around you that you can work with and within.

It's your character, and the assessment of the character of others that creates that picture of the world, your life, and your potential.

Ask most readers of Romance stories and you'll find that' it's character they respond to most.  If they can't relate to the main character, they just won't finish the book.  Romance books need "strong" characters -- characters with character.

You know, USA NETWORK's "characters welcome!" 

One of the things writers use to add "color" to characters is the techniques used to "reveal" their character strengths, weaknesses, and the identifying, individual quirks. 

When you weave all those character traits together, strength, weakness, quirks, you get a "strong" character, a character who doesn't change behavior or values in an emergency -- a character that's been built from childhood in a non-zero-sum-game world.  That's a character who has the "strength" to "give" himself - to sacrifice for the good of others.

The "strong" character will create a good cause, not just find one.  The "strong" character is the one who loses a child to a drunk-driver accident, and founds Alcoholics Anonymous or Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

The "weak" character is the one who loudly and publicly proclaims his "values" and "moral compass" and "leadership" and then, in any little emergency (unexpected event) throws all those values away in order to respond to the emergency.

Consider the classic "lifeboat" situation where say, 6 skinny people are huddled on a lifeboat tossed by high seas and a 7th very fat person is sinking the boat.  It's an emergency, so the 6 skinny people are therefore morally required to throw away the "Thou Shalt Not Commit Murder" commandment and toss the fat person overboard for the good of the majority. 

Those are 6  people of very weak character. 

If they were of strong character and normally held that murder was not something they would ever participate in, they would never consider tossing anyone overboard merely for their own survival. 

Those of strong character who believe that murder is wrong would never even consider murder in large groups like a mob.  The force of "mob psychology" and destructive frenzy explosively released in resentment simply leaves such a "strong character" cold.  A strong character standing in the midst of a mob that bursts into frenzy will simply edge to the rear and drift off down a side street.  She may then circle back, get help, and confront the mob's head end and try to stop the destruction.  But not with violence. 

We're not talking "army" here; the army does not murder, but can and does "kill" for the good of the group, which is completely sanctioned by the 10 Commandments.  Translations usually say "kill" but the actual text says "murder."  That's killing for personal gain, not self defense.  Soldiers don't set out to kill people, just to "neutralize" them -- make them stop destroying the soldier's own family and nation. 

That "Kill"/"Murder" distinction is one I use in the Sime~Gen novels because I thought about it very carefully and studied and learned.

Now why is it relevant to a writer creating a Romance story?  I mean most Romance doesn't involve killing or murder (though I do love a good detective novel with a hot romance driving the plot.)

It's relevant because "Values" has everything to do with "character strength" which is the lynchpin in the whole Soul Mate concept. 

Character is the connecting link because it is the one thing that you can "take with you" beyond this life.  What character strength you develop in this life will be there for you to retrieve (by repeating some experiences, sometimes vicariously by just reading a Romance story) once you reincarnate.  That's the theory anyway, and it turns up in so many theories of karma and reincarnation that I suspect it's real.  It certainly resonates with a majority of readers and forms the foundation of most fiction that doesn't even deal with the supernatural.

I use the idea of murder to measure character strength just as an illustration of the principle of what makes a "strong" character in the eyes of an editor. 

A strong character is one who stands up for what he/she believes in (whatever it is) and will put their life on the line, their life savings, or even the lives of their children. A strong character will risk the dangers of other people despising them because they hold to their Values even in an emergency. 

Values that have to be discarded in order to deal effectively with an emergency were never held to begin with, only espoused or given lip-service.  In emergencies, the real character becomes visible -- which is why most novels hurl the main character right into an emergency (trust me, a first date is an Emgergency!) 

Strong characters contain the potential for becoming Heroes and thus tend to die young or survive to ridiculously old ages. 

For you astrologers, that's a placement of Pluto in the natal chart signifying a life of having strength of character tested.  Usually that "test" is one period of 3-5 years of sheer-bloody-hell -- and then either a dramatic death or smooth sailing into really old age.  Many don't survive that test, but that doesn't mean they "failed" -- because the strength built in the testing period will still be there in their next life.

For MOTHERS - consider what that means in your infant, toddler, especially a venturesome son.  Strength of character from previous lives turns up in those fearless lunges into dangers the baby does not perceive.  The cowardice of the terrible-twos (and the fearless lunges into wild self-assertion) may be decoded into some idea of "who" this person you're raising really is, was, and will be.

Note, today Romance stories with second-marriages, and including young children, abound for a reason.  Sometimes a marriage happens for past-life reasons, and to bring to birth certain individuals who need different parenting than the birth parent can provide.  (not always, though).

So, considering brain research that is chasing the link between how the brain develops and violent videogames, what are the chances a modern teen will find fun activities among peers to develop social interactions that build character strength, solutions to social problems that don't involve "beating" or "winning" or out-maneuvering other people?  How many teens see life not as a contest to win but as an arena in which to build a structure that need have no limits?  

Will teens raised on solving problems by killing to "score" even recognize "strong characters" in their Romance stories?

What video games award double-points for avoiding harm to the 'bad guys?'

By what criteria do we judge character?  And by what criteria should we judge character? 

Remember the research article -- I think I pointed it out to you here some years ago -- that shows how the whole human species millions of years ago was twice reduced to nearly below species survival numbers?  Two bottlenecks in our evolution stripped out entire genetic characteristics. 

That is similar to the Biblical history that indicates how Adam and Eve arrived in our reality out of "The Garden of Eden" and proceeded to have children -- and later, The Flood reduced us to just Noah and his family with the Rainbow as the promise that the world would not be destroyed by flood again (didn't eliminate other means.)

The Bible indicates Seven Laws were given to Noah.  That's all the moral code humanity as a whole is responsible for, not all 10 Commandments (or 613 given in the Desert) -- just 7 catch-all principles.

With Free Will, each individual human must personally choose to accept these 7 rules of behavior and implement them in their life.

Those who choose to do that, and don't toss those 7 away just because there's an "emergency" are considered of "strong character" (not just by readers, but by editors, too).

In fact, these 7 Noachide Laws are the most effective ways to handle "emergencies" -- and what the person searching for a Soul Mate looks for is that behavior in emergency (great plot fodder there!  The third date can be a major emergency!) which applies those 7 Laws rigorously to generate a solution.

That kind of "strong character" who bends the world to his values is usually looked up to as a Leader.  "Leadership" means not just getting people to follow you (like Captain Kirk on ST: ToS ) but living a life which spurs others to become leaders.  The character to inspire and nurture Leadership in others is what any woman would look for in a potential father for her half-orphaned children. Then her children would become leaders with strong character. 

Leadership is (as any trained actor will point out) entirely described not just in the tone of voice (as we find in audiobooks) but evidenced in the GAIT -- the way a person walks, at least if he/she is young and not arthritic.  Consider that as a subliminal element in the "Love At First Sight" syndrome. 

You might want to study the British import TV show Masterpiece: Downton Abbey for the character of the new Valet who shows up in the first episode of the first season and is summarily rejected by the other servants because he's a "cripple" (i.e. has a leg injury from military service - class society rejects cripples just as a flock of ducks would).  The master of the House hired him as the new Valet because he's an old friend, but didn't know he had an unhealed injury and couldn't carry trays and so forth.  The Butler urges the Master to fire the fellow, and the Master does that.  The new Valet accepts the decree with a very civil, quiet objection to the Master's face saying only that he has nowhere else to go and it's unlikely anyone would hire him, and then he has a private cry because he has nowhere else to go.  But at the last second, as the new Valet is leaving, the Master rescinds his edict, and with embarrassment says "We'll say no more about it."   


The discovery that the new Valet's performance is impaired is (for the Master) an "emergency" - and at first he tosses his personal rules of honor away in order to conform to the "standards" of the house's servants.  This is what a weak character does.  Then he reasserts himself, thus "showing" us rather than "telling" us that the Master of this house is a man of "strong character."  Thus the entire issue of who will inherit the estate becomes much more important because we care about strong characters -- but not weak ones.  


The Master and the new Valet, of all the characters introduced in the first episode, pop out of the screen as "strong characters." 


Meanwhile, another one of the servants, displaced by the new Valet from promotion to "Valet to the Master," turns out to be a blackmailer trying to blackmail a Duke about a gay affair (in that time and society a blackmail issue).  So we are shown rather than told by stark contrast what the character of the new Valet is compared to that of the former Valet who is dominated by jealousy and manipulates with force.  


The former Valet is shown to be of weak character, not a leader.  The camera work on the new Valet focuses mainly on the eyes, and the steady gazes of pure Heroism he gives the Master of the House (who obviously was a superior officer to the new Valet in service in South Africa.)  They are men of different ranks, different stations in life, but they are both Heroes, strong characters.  One is appointed Leader by his born station in life, the other has attained leadership qualities by sheer determination.  But he starts out at the very bottom of the pecking order in this household's staff.   

Even the crippled Leader (Wounded Warrior) has a way of moving, holding the head, using the eyes steadily, an expression engraved in wrinkles, that bespeaks confidence that can only come from having forged a path through emergency after emergency without tossing out their core Values.


You see that exact thing in both the Villain and the Hero -- but it is most visible in the Mystical Leader, the Gandalf or Yoda of the Romance story.  That, to me, seems to be the kind of character the new Valet is set up to play - advisor. 

Any one of the 7 Noachide Laws will provide you with enough theme and plot to support the steamiest Romance story of Love At First Sight leading to a Soul Mate bond that creates a Happily Ever After. 

These are core thematic principles that subsume all human cultures all around the world -- translation may be a bit more difficult. 

What are these catch-all principles of such powerful use to Romance writers? 

THE 7 LAWS  (see wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Noahide_Laws
-------------
The seven laws listed by the Tosefta and the Talmud are[7]
  1. Prohibition of Idolatry
  2. Prohibition of Murder
  3. Prohibition of Theft
  4. Prohibition of Sexual immorality
  5. Prohibition of Blasphemy
  6. Prohibition of eating flesh taken from an animal while it is still alive
  7. Establishment of courts of law
The Noachide Laws comprise the six laws which were given to Adam in the Garden of Eden, according to the Talmud's interpretation of Gen 2:16,[8] and a seventh one, which was added after the Flood of Noah. Later, at the Revelation at Sinai, the Seven Laws of Noah were re-given to humanity and embedded in the 613 Laws given to the Children of Israel along with the Ten Commandments, which are part of, and not separate from, the 613 mitzvot. These laws are derived from the Torah. According to religious Judaism, the 613 mitzvot or "commandments" given in the written Torah, as well as their reasonings in the oral Torah, were only issued to the Jews and are therefore binding only upon them, having inherited the obligation from their ancestors. At the same time, at Mount Sinai, the Children of Israel were given the obligation to teach other nations the embedded Noachide Laws.[citation needed] These laws also affect Jewish law in a number of ways.
--------------
These 7 rules are the "Rules of the Game" and apply to all human relationships, but especially to the sexual one.

"Sportsmanship" is essential and teaches good sexual relationships if the sport is played to develop your style of human interaction rather than to demolish the opposition.  In real sportsmanship that models real life, you see opposing interests cooperating to develop each others' strength of character.  In youthful sports, children can re-possess themselves of the lessons driven home by previous life challenges and set off to live a much more productive life this time, one with a genuine Happily Ever After.

You can set up innate conflicts within each one of these (don't try to tackle all of them in one novel; you'll create a mishmosh).  A Hero, a Villain and a Mystic will each interpret these 7 concepts in different ways and apply them in different ways.  They will work at cross purposes, then toss their tools aside and go at one another to make the other stop interfering.  And in the end, both "win."

You can't stick with these 7 Noachide Laws through emergencies and not win because these rules do not apply to a zero-sum-game reality model.  They are predicated on the assumption that there is a Creator who is limitless and is creating our reality to be limitless, or at least sufficiently elastic to seem so. 

Read Rule #5 again and you'll see what I mean.  Land, Water, Oil, Herds, Money, Wealth, physical resources of all sorts are not to be fought over even if the apparent consequence is a loss.  Strength of character means proceeding through a conflict over material wealth (such as a divorce?) without deviating from the path you would have taken had the challenge not appeared.

In the zero-sum-game of reality, if one person is wealthy, then that means many others will be poor because there is only so much wealth to go around.  And if we look at our world in a certain way, that is a clear and obvious truth.  "If those people control that water, then I don't control it and therefore they will not let me water my animals and I will die and so will my children.  Therefore I have to kill those people." 

In the Noachide model of reality, thinking like that violates both Rule #5 and Rule #1 because you have made an "idol" (a source of the solutions to your problems) out of your own actions.  You assume that you and only you can solve the problem and that if you don't do this, then necessarily that will happen.  Same problem as the lifeboat problem, a classic philosophical conundrum. 

The Hero with a strong character will put his life, and his family's life, on the line in order to avoid violating either (nevermind both) of those rules.  The Villain with a strong character will do exactly the same, but upholding different rules, or the same rules with different interpretation. 

The strong character would rather die than violate a rule of that level.  The weak character will toss the rules of his or her life overboard because it's an emergency.  The real Villain will use one of the set of 7 rules to prove that a behavior violating another one of the rules is "right."  The real Hero does it more like Spock did in ST:ToS -- if it's deemed necessary to do something dishonorable, then willingly accept the consequences which are determined by others.

"Values" are the prioritized lists of individual applications of these 7 principles.  "Maturation" is the process of organizing your listed priorities -- what would you do to avoid doing whatever? 

Understanding how your opponent is another version of yourself with a different prioritized list of Values, how each of us is a unique individual muddling through "Life" as best we can, helps you sort out Heroes, Villains, Adversaries, and Opponents.  Any one, with any oddball list of priorities, can be a Strong Character or a Weak Character.  The biggest fiction market is for "Strong" characters -- in Hero, Villain, and Mystic.

If the Hero and the Villain are Soul Mates, you have got a winner, what they call in Hollywood a "four-bagger" that appeals to all ages at all levels of affluence.  In my novels, especially The Farris Channel, the Mystic is the Leader trying to make leaders out of the Hero and the Villain.  It's a multi-lifetime endeavor.

Jacqueline Lichtenberg
http://jacquelinelichtenberg.com